The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Obsessive 'Shippers

This is a post that I have been meaning to make for a while. This is not a review, this is me swinging another clue-by-four. Among the halls of fandom there exists a subsection referred to as 'shippers. Now, most 'shippers just have fun and enjoy themselves. They're relatively harmless. Those are not the 'shippers I am about to talk about. This is about the 'shippers who take it way too seriously. Obsessive 'Shippers.

Short definitions first, Obsessive 'Shippers are the lowest form of fandom there is. They are even worse than the people who show up to jury duty in Starfleet uniforms and demand to be addressed by their rank. That's not useless, it's an imaginative way to get out of jury duty. Obsessive 'Shippers are just scary, and quite frankly, useless people.

You see, Obsessive 'Shippers do not care about little things like story or character development. They want one thing and one thing only, to see the characters they picked hook up and fuck like bunnies. While a normal 'shipper will write and draw such things without taking it seriously. Obsessive 'Shippers demand that the canon conform to what they want to see, and if it doesn't go their way... look out.

Let me start with an example of obsessive 'shipping in the "Gargoyles" fandom. There are fans, and lots of them, who think Elisa Maza should hook up with Demona. Okay, while that might lead to some erotically hot fan art, some of them take things too far and declare that Greg Weisman got things wrong. No, I did not type.

Elisa Maza is a human police detective who becomes Goliath's love interest. It's a classic beauty and the beast story. Elisa is supposed to symbolize humanity at its best and be Goliath's beacon for hope after the great tragedies that affected him.

Demona is genocidal gargoyle who is beyond racist against the human species. She was Goliath's former mate, but turned away from him because he refused to join her in her war against the humans. While Goliath was bitter at the destruction of his clan, he is moving forward as an optimist, while Demona who messed up and caused the destruction of her clan projects all of her repressed guilt on to humanity and wants us, and any gargoyles who oppose her dead. She really, really, really hates Elisa's guts. Elisa is living proof that Demona is wrong about humans, and Demona can't have that. And Demona is jealous of the detective.

And people think Demona and Elisa are really, secretly in love with each other, and that if Greg Weisman were smart, he'd realize this. Sigh, gag me. Of course, I see him drawing the ire of Obsessive 'Shippers again with his new show, "Young Justice." Only four episodes in, and they're already dictating who belongs with who.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Next up is something a tad more infamous. Fans of "Avatar the Last Airbender" who think Katara and Zuko should have hooked up. They've even got a name, Zutaran... which sounds like some weird alien species, or some venereal disease. It would be okay if it was just a fun diversion, but these people think that not only did Mike and Bryan get it wrong, but that Mike and Bryan are out to get them.

Well, to be fair, Mike and Bryan have made no secret of their contempt for that pairing, and even made fun of the fans of it. But the fans who don't take it too seriously took that poking for the fun that it was. The Obsessive 'Shippers completely lost their shit. There were death threats.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Speaking of death threats, we arrive at my third example, J.K. Rowling and her "Harry Potter" series.

I don't need to explain "Harry Potter" since everyone in the civilized world knows what I'm talking about. But, some fans think that Harry and Hermione Granger should have gotten together at the end of the series. This didn't happen. Hermione hooked up with Ron Weasley and Harry hooked up with Ron's sister, Ginny.

The Obsessive 'Shippers claim this came out of no where. But, like anyone with the reading comprehension skills to understand a children's book, I saw the seeds planted here as far back as the second book. Hell, as far back as the first book. There was never any chemistry between Harry and Hermione, they were almost siblings. I don't understand the logic? Well, I guess there is no way to understand logic where none exists.

How much did these people lose their shit? Death threats were sent to J.K. Rowling and books were burned. Yup, the two groups that burned "Harry Potter" books are fascist Christians and Obsessive 'Shippers. Actually, even the Westboro Baptist Church doesn't burn the books, I once heard Shirley Phelps on the radio saying they're all big fans of the books and read them to their kids.

Congratulations Obsessive 'Shippers, you are worse than the Fred Phelps Cult.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Now, I'm sure this post will draw me some ire, but I'm going to be optimistic and hope those whacks with the clue-by-four knock some sense into people. There is no problem being a fan of something. There is no problem being a huge fan of something. But watch the extremes you take it to, because some of you are losing all touch with reality, even a fictional reality.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo greg for this post; I know this response is late but I had to comment that I've linked this blog entry of yours at other forums any time I find fandoms of shippers that just make me role my eyes.

    One more thing, is there seriously a group of shippers in the Gargoyles fandom that think that Elisa and Demona are secretly in love, just because they see both of those character in one or two "catfights" in the series like in the episode High Noon? *facepalms*

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