The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

You Make Us All Look Bad.

Comic book fans have a very negative stereotype surrounding us. That stereotype being that we're a bunch of obsessive compulsive, anal retentive fanboys. When it comes to ensembles, we play favorites and make outrageous demands, and make up things to get angry at.

I am as big a fan of Captain America as anybody else, and I think "Avengers: Earth's Mightiest heroes" is doing a great job with him. I am far from alone on this one, but, and I suppose it was inevitable, but a retarded stereotype came along. Without naming names, I am going to show you a big pile of derp.

Well my point is if Cap's not the official leader and he's clearly not an "ultimate-human-fighting-machine" or "super-soldier" on this show (the lazy/shield crutchy way they write him) then wtf is he exactly to this team?


Um, I see Cap very much as a leader on this show. Sure, like he said, he's not the official leader. But he does a far better job of taking charge in battle than Iron Man does. It's not even subtle. And if the problem is that he's not the leader yet, well keep in mind that he's only recently been thawed out of the ice and he's still finding his way in the 21st century. Yes, he may have become the leader much faster in the comic books written in the 60's, but that was before little things like character arcs and long term planning were a part of the comic book writing process.

I see a very inspirational Cap who is not afraid to take charge, but like a good soldier isn't trying to muscle his way to the general's chair. He'll get it some time, the writing is on the wall. But, I guess I recognize things like story structure and character progression, so I am blind to any fanboy rage.

Okay, continuing with the derp.

(Without sounding like a wise-ass) Ahhhh yeah...that's kind of what Cap does (among other things)!?!?! I didn't create the character, Jack Kirby did. Not to mention ALL of Marvel's Editorial Execs and heavy weight writers (Bendis, Brubaker, Busiek etc) have decided Steve is "Marvel's premiere hand to hand combatant". So with that wouldn't that essentially make it game-on for "acrobatic kung-fu and punches"?

Yeah, didn't he do a lot of that when he fought Baron Zemo, Baron Strucker, HYDRA agents, and plenty of other bad guys? Or is the problem here that he is not easily knocking out beings of much higher power levels? But, I suppose in this age of "Batman can beat anybody with prep time" that is to be considered.

Again, I see a great fighter there. But it would strain credibility if he was able to take out Kang the Conquerer in a hand to hand fight.


Much of what got me hooked on Cap (probably from Mark Gruenwald) as a lil kid was his martial arts prowess (and really the shield was marginal to me at best) and the exposition that went with it. The explaining and hitting of nerves/pressure points, the sizing up his opponents to his team/partners to their faces, the endless studying of combat footage in the Avengers mansion, the kinetic combat sequences of Cap dodging lasers and plowing through armies etc etc etc.

You do realize this is an ensemble show, right?

All this on A: EMH has been miscast upon friggin Hawkeye while you see Yost/Fine's Hawkeye blatant bias (*Black Panther also to a lil lesser degree who seems to have Spider-man's powers on this show) oozing through the screen with scenes like the ridiculous opening of "Gamma World" (with no powers Hawkeye looking like Quicksilver out running Cap on a bike and Iron Man flying) and in "Ultron Imperative" with Hawkeye taking out Iron Man's possessed armors while Cap is knocked unconscious (for 2 eps) and in the hospital (never shown) as he just amateurishly stares at Ultron shooting him point blank like he's friggin Jarvis or something.

Okay, are you fucking stupid (this is a rhetorical question, just so you know)? Yes, Hawkeye is on this show. But I don't see any bias being thrown his, or Black Panther's way. He certainly gets much less screen time and attention than, let's say, the Wasp. But no one is complaining about that.

And, yes, Hawkeye escaped the Avengers in one scene. But so could Black Widow. Is Hawkeye outrunning a bike a little silly? Yes, but not enough to indicate a bias. And it's no sillier than surviving being frozen in a block of ice... which would actually kill someone.

No, it sounds to me like a biased retarded fanboy is picking an easy scapegoat... and in the process, exposing himself as a knuckle-dragging mouth breather.

No disrespect whatsoever, I like the shield n all but it becomes very tired/old and irritating when you have the premiere hand to hand combatant/acrobat in the Marvel Universe just relegated (85% of the time) to just stiffly pivoting, blocking, and throwing a shield in every situation. Kind of like (if you're a basketball fan) if ALL Phil Jackson or Doug Collins ever let Michael Jordan do was take jump shots (Batman just used his utlility belt, WW just her lasso, DD just used his billy club etc). Take ALL the potential fun out of every possession (scene) in favor of the safest or laziest way out a jump shot (shield toss) when all the real fans want to see a double crossover dribble, baseline drive, hand switch with scoop finger roll (a triple hand spring double kick while the shield is in flight taking out goons).

#1. Basketball games have a much longer running time than twenty-two minutes. That analogy is just stupid.

#2. "Justice League" may have showcased a lot of powers and fighting moves, but at no point did it delve into who Wonder Woman was as a person. Never. Not one iota of personality ever really shined through. While Captain America has gotten a ton of that. But, I suppose if you have the priorities of Michael Bay, this is okay.

I don't trust these A: EMH writers, they're not really from the comic book world. I feel like the show does need a Marvel consultant. Like a Bendis or Brubaker or Busiek (especially) like doctoring fight scenes and characterizations.

Hey, genius. They all have a comic book background. Here's some advice: know what you're talking about before you open your fucking mouth.

Marvel/DC are basically Hollywood star-$#%&%$%. They LOVE celebrity writers and they could care less how encyclopedic they are or the job they can do as long as their name is on the book. Taking NOTHING away from Yost's strengths (which he has many) but he had a Gorgon foot in the door before he wrote his first word balloon. Gotta admit though I abhor MARVEL SUPER HERO SQUAD, X-MEN EVOLUTION, FF WGH and IM AA (not sure who this audience is???) As well as this almost pedophile state kidified of Marvel Animation making everything teeny or kiddified. When I was a kid the LAST thing I wanted in my toons were snot-nosed brats like me. Got enough of that in school, wanted to know what's it like to be an adventuring Adult.

And that, right there justifies this entire post. "Almost pedophile?" Really? You're not only retarded, but you are fucking crazy. I hope you say something like that to someone who was molested as a kid so they can knock your teeth out, you creep.

But in all seriousness, just stop talking all together. You're stupid, and you're the worst example of a comic book fan. The kind that makes me ashamed to be a part of this hobby.

Okay, that felt good. Haven't smacked anyone with a clue-by-four in ages.


  1. Personally I think you should "edit" his comments just like you did in the Young Justice- "Welcome to Happy Harbor" thread.

    The sad thing is I haven't even been to the thread your talking about, and even I know who posted this drivel.

  2. LOL! It wasn't "capfan1" this time. This douche has better spelling and grammar. ;)

  3. So the guy's name is Taskmaster? Wasn't that the name of one of the many crime lords Spider-Man faced in the comics?

    I agree with you that one of the many problems this guy has is thinking that just because Cap. America gets unfrozen he should have all that experience that he absorbed in the comics after countless experiences.