Friday, August 26, 2011
Count Me Out, As of Now
I just watched episode six of "ThunderCats" and, wow, where should I start? I think they have dropped any and all pretense of being more interesting and three dimensional than the original series. The lizards are nothing but evil villains, and Slithe is now the typical Dumbass Minion. Welcome back 80's, it's the White Hats vs the Black Hats. Good is "attractive" and Evil is "ugly." We get the back story on the Book of Omens, and how it was hidden in order to keep it out of the hands of the other animals. The other animals, the lizards, happening to be evil.
So, why did Clawdus send Panthro and Grune on an impossible quest to find the Book of Omens when all he had to do was ask Jagga where it was? The entire premise here just falls apart. Grune's betrayal now makes even less sense than it already did, if such a thing were even possible.
Remember in the premiere when Mumm-Ra was about to transform, but fled due to the rising sun? They made a big deal about sunlight being his weakness. And here he is walking around in broad daylight as if it were nothing. Um, I do not have the attention span of a goldfish. I remember this. You made a pretty huge deal out of it. All they had to do was set this episode at night to avoid this stupidity.
So, the temple just happens to be right next to where Lion-O and his merry felines are camping out. I know this is a kid's show, but kids are much smarter than you give them credit for. Don't insult their intelligence like this. That was cheap, and trust me, they'll know it.
Panthro cannot swim. He was one of the greatest warriors in Thundera. He was skilled, well trained, and the king valued him enough to make him a general. We saw him rise through the ranks. You have this extremely well trained soldier, and he cannot swim. The pampered princes can swim. The cleric can swim. The two annoying brats can swim. The one guy with any real military training cannot swim. Pardon my French but what a crock of shit! And then he finds an exit that just happens to lead to the room above the one being flooded?
Mumm-Ra finally transforms into his more powerful, demonic form. Or whatever it is. In the pilot, in his weaker form, he is able to take out all the clerics, and crush all resistance. In his more powerful form, he cannot defeat a band of five. It was laughable. He was much more intimidating in his withered form, believe it or not.
And I still have no clue why he's supposed to be evil. They had this line where he gloated about killing Clawdus that I guess was supposed to be his "BWA HA HA! I AM EVIL! HA HA HA!" moment, but it falls flat on its face because, again, Clawdus was an evil, bigoted king who was conquering and subjugating others. Oh wait, I forgot, the lizards no longer have a point of view anymore. Cats good, everyone else bad.
We saw a brief flashback where Mumm-Ra commanded a space fleet of ThunderCats. The ThunderCats were once a spacefaring race... and yet, that scene is just thrown at us. I guess we're supposed to find it intriguing, but the way it is presented is more like a "what the hell" moment, instead of easing us into such a revelation. We get no further context, and it is all forgotten about as the episode progresses.
And this is where I step off the wagon. I gave it six episodes. That is far more than a fair shake. I gave "ThunderCats" a chance. But this is it, I'm done. I will not be watching any more episodes after this. Why? Because I hate people who despise TV shows and yet keep coming back week after week, year after year. If you hate a show that much, find something better to do with your time. That's what I'm going to be doing here.
The animation on this show is gorgeous. The character designs are well drawn. The direction and boarding is good. The voice acting is good. But the writing is atrocious. The characters are bland and one dimensional. There is nothing intriguing about the story arc. This is a stupid, stupid, stupid show and I predict it will run for at least five seasons.
Ronald Reagan is dead, and I hope the 80's nostalgia craze joins him soon. And that is all I have to say for the abysmal creative failure that is "ThunderCats." Or, to further drive home how terrible this show is, I would rather watch all of "The Goliath Chronicles" again than endure another second of this crap.