The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Stupidest Thing Ever Said

Scroll to about 3:30 and you will see that hack, Stephenie Meyer compare herself to literary masters and declare her superiority to them. I'm talking about Jane Austen and William Shakespeare!

Please compare and contrast:

Stephanie Meyer from Chapter 23 of "New Moon":

Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

William Shakespeare from Sonnet 43:

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.

That takes balls. And not the good kind of balls. This is just as moronic and offensive as Roland Emerich's "Anonymous." In four more centuries, those who read will still nod to the Bard of Avon in reverence and say, "Stephanie... who?"


  1. *Austen Jane Austen

  2. Yikes. Meyer, just...shut up. You wouldn't know poetic language if it bit you on the nose.

  3. You actually read Twilight? I feel sorry for you. The closest thing I have to seeing that is watching Vampires Suck, and that makes me feel I'd hate the movies even more.
    Stephine Myers is even more pretentious the her self-insert fanfic protagonist.