The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Monday, February 28, 2011

A Brief History of the Best Picture

Or, where I think Oscar got it right, and Oscar got it wrong.

1934
It Happened One Night
The Barretts of Wimpole Street
Cleopatra
Flirtation Walk
The Gay Divorcee
Here Comes the Navy
The House of Rothschild
Imitation of Life
One Night of Love
The Thin Man
Viva Villa!
The White Parade


This year, Oscar got it right. "It Happened One Night" is a great film. A real classic. One of Clark Gable's all time best.

1939
Gone with the Wind
Dark Victory
Goodbye, Mr. Chips
Love Affair
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Ninotchka
Of Mice and Men
Stagecoach
The Wizard of Oz
Wuthering Heights


Ooh, this is a tough one. I'm going to have to say that Oscar got this one right too. "Gone With the Wind" is a great, American classic. But so is "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and a little movie called "The Wizard of Oz." All of these movies had an impact and are still a part of pop culture today.

1941
How Green Was My Valley
Blossoms in the Dust
Citizen Kane
Here Comes Mr. Jordan
Hold Back the Dawn
The Little Foxes
The Maltese Falcon
One Foot in Heaven
Sergeant York
Suspicion


You all know this one. But this was definitely one of Oscar's first great blunders. Does anyone still talk about "How Green Was My Valley?" No. But we all know "Citizen Kane." Even if you don't love it, you know it. Orson Welles' masterpiece is remembered, referenced, and parodied even to this day. But, we all know the politics. William Randolph Hearst tried hard to destroy this film and bury Welles.

I would also like to add that "The Maltese Falcon" was a great film as well. I love Humphrey Boggart, and it was much better than "How Green Was My Valley." That being said, I think it's a good thing that it didn't go down in history as the movie that took Orson Welles' Oscar.

1943
Casablanca
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Heaven Can Wait
The Human Comedy
In Which We Serve
Madame Curie
The More the Merrier
The Ox-Bow Incident
The Song of Bernadette
Watch on the Rhine


This is such a no-brainer. "Casablanca" has had just as much of a cultural impact as "Citizen Kane." It also had a lot to say on the themes of love and sacrifice against the backdrop of the most terrible war ever fought. I'm not just saying this because it's my all time favorite film, but it deserved this.

1950
All About Eve
Born Yesterday
Father of the Bride
King Solomon's Mines
Sunset Boulevard


Depending on what day you ask me, I'll have a different answer for this one. "All About Eve" was terrific. So was "Sunset Boulevard." You couldn't find two films more diverse that both deserve this award just as much as the other. I guess, either way, Oscar would have made the right decision.

1954
On the Waterfront
The Caine Mutiny
The Country Girl
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Three Coins in the Fountain


Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. "The Caine Mutiny" is terrific too, but if you have never seen "On the Waterfront" then shame on you.

1956
Around the World in 80 Days
Friendly Persuasion
Giant
The King and I
The Ten Commandments


Sorry, Oscar. You got this one wrong. It should have been "The Ten Commandments." You don't need to be religious to enjoy this movie. Well made, well crafted, and Charleton Heston's all time best.

1962
Lawrence of Arabia
The Longest Day
The Music Man
Mutiny on the Bounty
To Kill a Mockingbird


This was a tough year, but Oscar got it right. "Lawrence of Arabia" is one of the most epic movies I have ever watched. I'll take this further and say that you don't just watch it, you experience it. You feel like you're in the desert, the movie really immerses you.

1963
Tom Jones
America, America
Cleopatra
How the West Was Won
Lilies of the Field


And we did so well the previous year. "Tom Jones" sucked, should have been "Cleopatra."

1967
In the Heat of the Night
Bonnie and Clyde
Doctor Dolittle
The Graduate
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner


Ouch... this was a tough one. A very tough one. I cannot fault the pick here, "In the Heat of the Night" is a great, and relevant movie. Sydney Poitier was amazing. However, "The Graduate" is another classic, as is "Bonnie and Clyde." Now, my personal favorite out of these would have to be "Bonnie and Clyde." But, if I were an Academy voter this year, well... I don't know. I really don't.

1970
Patton
Airport
Five Easy Pieces
Love Story
MASH


As fun as "MASH" was, this was really a no-brainer. "Patton" is a favorite of mine. It earned this award.

1972
The Godfather
Cabaret
Deliverance
The Emigrants
Sounder


1972 was a year of great movies, but again, this was a no-brainer. Like "Citizen Kane," "Casablanca," and "Gone With the Wind" before it, "The Godfather" is a masterpiece. It's opera.

1974
The Godfather Part II
Chinatown
The Conversation
Lenny
The Towering Inferno


Another tough one. I love "The Godfather Part II" and I love "Chinatown." This was before Roman Polanski raped a child, so he wasn't the creep he is now yet. While both are amazing films on every level, well, I think Oscar did the right thing this year. "The Godfather Part II" was the final chapter on an epic duology, and another one was never, ever made. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

1975
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Barry Lyndon
Dog Day Afternoon
Jaws
Nashville


Oh... Oscar, don't do this to me. This is another year where I would have a tough time voting. God, I love the 70's. Is there any doubt yet, that this was Hollywood's greatest decade? As much as I personally love "Jaws," I think Oscar got it right again.

1976
Rocky
All the President's Men
Bound for Glory
Network
Taxi Driver


Oscar got it wrong. It should have been Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver." I have no problem with "Rocky" but even "All the President's Men" would have been a better choice.

1977
Annie Hall
The Goodbye Girl
Julia
Star Wars
The Turning Point


Now comes the part where I lose friends and alienate people. Oscar got it right. "Annie Hall" is an amazing film. Amazing. It's smart, well acted, well written, expertly directed. Yes, I like the original "Star Wars" movie as well, but I don't think it was Best Picture material at all. It was a popcorn flick, and I like popcorn flicks, but I also loved "Die Hard" and I don't even think that was Best Picture of the year.

1979
Kramer vs. Kramer
All That Jazz
Apocalypse Now
Breaking Away
Norma Rae


Good lord, this was just embarrassing. "Apocalypse Now" all the way. I'm not saying anymore for fear of dignifying this atrocity.

1980
Ordinary People
Coal Miner's Daughter
The Elephant Man
Raging Bull
Tess


Two in a row, you're not doing too well now, Oscar. It should have been Martin Scorsese's "Raging Bull." "Ordinary People" just sucks.

1990
Dances with Wolves
Awakenings
Ghost
The Godfather Part III
Goodfellas


Sigh... Martin Scorsese again is snubbed when "Goodfellas" is shut out. Detecting a theme yet, people? I hated "Dances With Wolves" and I hate that it put Kevin Costner on the map.

1991
The Silence of the Lambs
Beauty and the Beast
Bugsy
JFK
The Prince of Tides


The very first time an animated movie got nominated for Best Picture. That being said, as great as "Beauty and the Beast" is, you have to give it to "The Silence of the Lambs" which really re-defined thrillers. Not to mention the landmark performances turned in by Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster.

1993
Schindler's List
The Fugitive
In the Name of the Father
The Piano
The Remains of the Day


Oscar got it right. If you disagree, you're either anti-semitic, an imbecile, or both. 'Nuff said.

1994
Forrest Gump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Pulp Fiction
Quiz Show
The Shawshank Redemption


Oy... just... oy. This one actually physically angers me. They got it so horribly wrong. If I were an Academy member, I'd have cast my vote for Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction." But take that away and you have "The Shawshank Redemption" which is also infinitely better than "Forrest Gump." I don't get "Forrest Gump" I mean, if people want to root for a movie about retards, we've still got "Pulp Fiction."

1996
The English Patient
Fargo
Jerry Maguire
Secrets & Lies
Shine


A lot of great movies are being snubbed this decade, aren't they? Should have been "Fargo." Oscar got it wrong. And as for "The English Patient," I agree with Elaine Benes on this one:



1997
Titanic
As Good as It Gets
The Full Monty
Good Will Hunting
L.A. Confidential


No... good god, no. I will never understand the popularity of "Titanic" and I'll never forget how badly I wanted James Cameron to get booed off stage when he declared himself "the king of the world." It should have been "L.A. Confidential"

1998
Shakespeare in Love
Elizabeth
Life Is Beautiful
Saving Private Ryan
The Thin Red Line


This was a good year, but I'm going to shock some of you and say that Oscar got this one right. I adore "Shakespeare In Love." It was a film that really moved me. I know that "Saving Private Ryan" is the favorite among most, but it peaked in its first twenty minutes and I didn't really care for what happened after that powerful introduction on D-Day.

2001
A Beautiful Mind
Gosford Park
In the Bedroom
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Moulin Rouge!


Good lord, no. Oscar messed up again. I'd have given it to "Lord of the Rings." I also give LOTR a lot of credit for bringing intelligence to the blockbuster films. Before this, they were mostly pretty stupid and just used as exercises in SHINY!

2002
Chicago
Gangs of New York
The Hours
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Pianist


Damn, this was a good year. I saw "Chicago" a while back, and I was impressed. I liked it a lot. That being said, if I could vote, I would have given it to "Gangs of New York." Once again, it seemed like Martin Scorsese's year, and once again he gets snubbed. "The Two Towers" was great, but the weakest of the trilogy. And as for "The Pianist" well, by itself, it's an amazing film... but I cannot vote for it in good conscience because of who directed it.

2003
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lost in Translation
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Mystic River
Seabiscuit


A tough year, but Oscar got this one right. Peter Jackson's achievement was amazing. Let's see if lightning will strike again when "The Hobbit" gets made. I also really enjoyed "Lost in Translation" and "Mystic River."

2005
Crash
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Good Night, and Good Luck
Munich


Oh, fuck you, Oscar. Fuck you. It should have been "Brokeback Mountain" but they had to take the "safe" pick. Actually, I thought "Crash" was the weakest of the nominees.

2006
The Departed
Babel
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen


Oscar: Hi Marty, um, remember all those times I snubbed ya? Well, um, if I give you a statue for this movie that is no where near as good as the rest of your movies, will all be forgiven?

2007
No Country for Old Men
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
There Will Be Blood


As much as I enjoyed "No Country for Old Men," Oscar really made the wrong choice here. "There Will Be Blood" was perfect. It was THE film of 2007. This was a terrible choice.

2008
Slumdog Millionaire
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader


Again, Oscar failed. Out of these choices, I think "Frost/Nixon" and "Milk" would have been better choices. However, the film that should have won Best Picture wasn't even nominated. Yes, "The Dark Knight" got snubbed, as did Christopher Nolan.

2009
The Hurt Locker
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air


This year I was rooting for "Inglourious Basterds" but at the end of the day, I was in the "anything but Avatar" camp. Good lord, how I hated "Avatar." However, while Oscar didn't make the right choice... and there was more than one right choice, "District 9" and "Up" were great also, I am thankful it didn't make the wrong choice.

And I was also so happy to see James Cameron get his ass handed to him by the ex-wife he cheated on and was horrible too. So, while I don't think "The Hurt Locker" was the right choice, I do enjoy some old fashioned schadenfreude.

2010
The King's Speech
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone


I had no horse in this race, and I already discussed my thoughts in my previous post. However, I think it's quite obvious at this point that Christopher Nolan is the new Martin Scorsese.

2011 Academy Awards

Well, several of my predictions were wrong. Let's take a look, shall we?

BEST PICTURE
First off, as much as I personally loved it. It's not going to be "Inception." And I know it won't be "Toy Story 3." If I had to guess, "The Social Network" will easily take this one. But "The King's Speech" may be a Best Picture surprise.


Where did I go wrong? "The King's Speech" was Best Picture, but it was by no means a surprise. If "The Social Network" won, that would have been the surprise.

BEST ACTOR
You're going to notice a trend here, but I suspect that Colin Firth will take this one. But if not him, then Jesse Eisenberg. Javier Bardem won three years ago, and Jeff Bridges won last year, so they're out.


Okay, I was right about this one. No big shocker.

BEST ACTRESS
Natalie Portman is taking this one. Annette Bening might be her competition, but anyone who isn't blind, deaf and dumb can see that this is Natalie's year.


Once again, I was right. Now, if only they'll make "Mathilda The Professional."

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
My instincts are definitely saying Geoffrey Rush. Aside from "The Social Network," it is obvious that "The King's Speech" is a favorite. Of course, Geoffrey Rush is incredible, so he'd have earned this one.


This one definitely took me by surprise. Christian Bale won, and I never saw it coming. Well, Joker already has an Oscar, Christian Bale had to get one too. Why? What? Are you dense? Are you retarded? Who the hell do you think he is? He's the goddamn Batman!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Hmm, again, for the same reasons as above, I've got to come down on the side of Helena Bonham Carter. Let's face it, she'll never be nominated for Belatrix LeStrange.


I was wrong again, they gave it to Melissa Leo. She must have been surprised too, she dropped the f-bomb.

BEST DIRECTOR
This is clearly David Fincher's year. And I like him a lot. I love the Coen Brothers, but this is definitely not their year. Tom Hooper might take this, but my gut tells me that Fincher is taking this.


And this, my friends, is exactly why I should never gamble. Tom Hooper took this one, but I still believe it was Fincher's year.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
As much as I think "The King's Speech" is likely to take this, I also think it's just as likely that they might toss "Inception" this award to placate it.


Well, I was right about "The King's Speech." But I have since learned that it was based on a book, so this movie had no business being nominated in this category. Does anyone know how this happened?

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
It definitely won't be "Toy Story 3." While "True Grit" might get it, because the Coen Brothers write great scripts, again "The Social Network" is the favorite, and I am confident will take this.


While "The Social Network" was hardly the favorite, I'm calling this one a winning prediction.

BEST ANIMATED FILM
"Toy Story 3" has this. It's a lock. Michael Bay will win a Best Director Oscar before "Toy Story 3" loses this one.


Yup...

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Oh... this is a tough one. But, my prediction is "Black Swan." It was gorgeous on the eyes.


I was wrong, "Inception" took this. It really cleaned up in the technical awards. But, as much as I loved "Inception," I stand by what I said. "Black Swan" was gorgeous.

SOUND EDITING
"Inception" will take this one. Easily. In fact, and sadly, this is the one award it's guaranteed to win.


Yup...

Now, as for the show itself. Anne Hathaway was bubbly and having fun, but James Franco was not a good choice to host this thing. He wasn't into it, I think he was twittering during the show a few times. And he just lacked charisma. When Billy Crystal came out, I was hoping they'd pass hosting duties to him right then and there. Hell, the ghost of Bob Hope would have been preferable.

I was really glad to see Trent Reznor take home an Oscar. I never, ever thought I'd see it happen.

Still, overall, a boring show. I hope next year's is far more interesting.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

And the Razzies are in...

Worst picture: "The Last Airbender"

Worst actor: Ashton Kutcher ("Killers" and "Valentine's Day")

Worst actress: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, KristinDavis and Cynthia Nixon ("Sex and the City 2")

Worst supporting actress: Jessica Alba ("The Killer Inside Me," "Little Fockers," "Machete" and "Valentine's Day")

Worst supporting actor: Jackson Rathbone ("The Last Airbender" and "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse")

Worst eye-gouging misuse of 3-D: "The Last Airbender"

Worse screen couple/worst screen ensemble: The entire cast of "Sex and the City 2"

Worst director: M. Night Shyamalan ("The Last Airbender")

Worst screenplay: "The Last Airbender"

Worst prequel, remake, rip-off or sequel: "Sex and the City 2"


http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/02/27/us-razzies-idUSTRE71Q0HV20110227


Well, all I have to say to this is...

OHTHANKGOD!!!!!!!!!!!

As soon as "The Last Airbender" came out, after I finally sat through that turd, I had a bet going with a certain... individual... who enjoyed the movie. I bet him in July that "The Last Airbender" would "win" the Razzie, and if it didn't, I would take my copy of the "Casablanca" Blu-ray set, and burn it. Over the last week, I'll admit, I was getting a little nervous. But, my set is safe, and the worst movie won. So, I am pleased by this.

I bet, right now, as we speak, M. Night Shyamalan is writing another screenplay where he will cast himself as a misunderstood genius who will save all of humanity.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

How to make me quit reading comics.

For the past few days, I have been speechless about this. I mentioned this on Skype but I really had trouble verbalizing this. It just made my skin crawl. Sigh... leave it to John Byrne to have a story idea that is far more offensive than Spider-Man selling his marriage to the Devil.

John Byrne hates the Holocaust survivor origin for Magneto that Chris Claremont introduced in the early 80's. HATES IT! In the late nineties, he was going to retcon it out. In his mind, Magneto was indeed at Auschwitz... but as a Nazi guard there. And later on, Xavier would have implanted all those victim memories in him to teach him what it is like to be a victim... apparently this would have taken place during the time Magneto had been turned into a child and was being kept on Muir Island.

Bob Harris stepped in and refused to let Byrne do it... and he was going to in "X-Men The Hidden Years." Byrne still has every intention in the world of doing this if Marvel ever lets him anywhere near the character again.

You want to know how to get me to not only never buy a Marvel comic again, but throw away all the comics I already have, the above is how. This is worse than Spider-Man selling his marriage to the Devil. Infinitely worse.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Moammar Gaddafi

Now, I know this blog is mostly about entertainment, not politics. But this here entertains me, so I now want to entertain you with it. Let's take a look at the disaster that is Moammar Gaddafi. With all of his flashy outfits, gimmicky henchmen, and own country, I think he is a cosplayer who dressed up as a comic book villain and let things get way out of hand.

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Okay, that last one isn't him. Wouldn't it be more awesome if it was?

And now, here is Exhibit B.

MISSING IN ACTION: Where Is Col. Qaddafi's Security Brigade Of Amazonian Virgins?

UPDATE: Col. Qaddafi gave a rambling and defiant speech today. The question remains to what degree are his personal security forces loyal.

Russia Today reported that his personal security brigade known as Mohammed Al Migraif has joined the protests. However, just minutes ago former Libyan official Nouri al-Mismari said that
IF Mohammed Al Migraif deserts Qaddafi he will be finished.

Presumably Mohammed Al Migraif is not the same as his legendary Amazonian Guard, 40 hand-picked virgins trained in martial arts.

Here are some videos of the Colonel traveling with his bodyguard of virgins:



And finally, a long, long rambling speech that would make even Cobra Commander whisper to Destro "this guy is nuts."



It astounds me that a guy so evidently cuckoo managed to stay in power of a country for so long. I almost feel bad that we're gonna lose him any day now. He's like the closest thing we'll ever have to a comic book supervillain.

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Sigh... it's just NOT THE SAME!!!!!!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Denial

And with our latest episode, I have realized that I really, really like this show. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the pilot a lot. I didn't much like the third episode, but after that it started getting better and better with every episode. So, now, by episode seven, I can say that I've officially warmed up to "Young Justice." More on this later, now on to the episode itself.

Kid Flash finally receives a much needed episode focusing on him. Okay, we knew he was stubborn, we knew he was a sleaze, but we focus more on these things. His skepticism of the supernatural was front and center. Although, I have seen a lot of people misinterpret what the moral of this episode was. A lot of people saw it as "magic is real" but I disagree, that is a very, very simplistic way of looking at it without putting in any effort to think about it. The lesson of the episode had more to do with being open minded, that there are some things that cannot be explained, and that taking a leap of faith is often necessary. And, once again, I find myself referencing "Babylon 5" with the following quote.

"Faith and reason are the shoes on your feet! You can travel further with both than you can with just one."


And no, that is not about subscribing to a religious belief, hell that quote was written by an Atheist. I myself am Agnostic, I have no actual religious beliefs of my own, I do not subscribe to any, but I still have faith that there are things beyond our understanding out there.

But back to the episode. I will admit to being quite unfamiliar with Dr. Fate. I've seen him on "Justice League" and "Justice League Unlimited" but that's where my knowledge of the character ends. This, however, was an altogether different depiction of him, but I think I liked it a lot more. I loved Ed Asner in the role of Kent Nelson, I loved how affable he was with just about everyone, particularly Madame Xanadu in the teaser.

I also loved Kent's advice to Wally about finding a spitfire of his own. I agree with that one whole heartedly. Again, getting a little personal here, but I am not attracted to women like Miss Martian at all. I don't know why, I'm just not. I've always been attracted to the spitfire types. I love women with fire in them, the type of woman who can and will kick my ass. That's what Artemis seems to be, while Miss Martian (and to be fair, I am probably still underestimating her) is more the type to want to be Superboy's very own June Cleaver. I guess this sums up why I have always preferred Peter Parker with Mary Jane Watson instead of Gwen Stacy (well, Romita's Gwen Stacy).

Okay, on with the rest of the episode.

Doesn't seem like Wally is listening to Kent's advice. But, he's young, he'll grow. One thing that I have seen a lot that does bug me is people saying he has feelings for Miss Martian. Um, no he doesn't. The only feeling for her he has is in his pants. Otherwise he wouldn't have so blatantly hit on Black Canary right in front of Miss Martian (not that she cared) two episodes ago.

Wally wearing Dr. Fate's helm was really, really cool. Although I can't help but wonder about why that thing is on his shelf with his other souvenirs. Shouldn't he have handed that over to the Justice League? And isn't the robotic eye on his shelf a camera feeding images directly back to T.O. Morrow? Doesn't Morrow work for the Light? Yup, there's some pipe laying.

Klarion the Witch Boy was wonderfully creepy as a villain. I've only seen him before in an episode of "Batman" back in the late 90's, when Batman teamed up with Etrigan the Demon. I'll admit, I thought Klarion was quite lame then, and would always change the channel when that episode showed up in re-runs. But I liked him here, he seemed a lot more sinister, and downright creepy. Of course, I also always enjoy hearing Thom Adcox' voice. And, is it just me, but aside from Lexington, he almost always seems to voice bad guys and psychos. Don't get me wrong, he's great at it, but I always think of him as Lexington first... well, I suppose there was evil Lex in "Future Tense." And Thom is kind of a bad boy in real life... ;)

Let's see, in this episode we had Jeff Bennett as Red Tornado and Abra Kadabra; Thom Adcox as Klarion; Cree Summer as Madame Xanadu; and Ed Asner as Kent Nelson. Almost a mini "Gargoyles" cast reunion. Marina Sirtis already confirmed she's appearing down the line as Queen Bee. And I doubt Weisman will resist casting Keith David in this show. So, I'll have my fingers crossed for Jonathan Frakes, Bill Faggerbakke, Salli Richardson, Brigitte Bako, Tom Wilson, Clancy Brown, and... okay, this list is beginning to get comprehensive. You get the idea.

Artemis is really growing on me. I had a feeling I would really like the character before she appeared, and I was right. She's my favorite character on the team. And I love how she is the only one on the team that doesn't let Wally get away with his crap. Hopefully he'll wise up soon and love that too.

This episode hit some personal chords for me, and like I said, finally really warmed me up to this show. Don't get me wrong, I was enjoying it prior to this. But there are shows I enjoy, and shows I warm up to. I enjoy "Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes" but there is nothing really special about it, and it's really, really lowbrow. But I enjoy it. But, after nineteen episodes of that, it's safe to say I'll never warm to it. And I think the big reason why I was hesitant about this series up until now is that I warmed to "Gargoyles" and "Spectacular Spider-Man" right away. I expected the same of this series, but it took longer. Maybe that's because I've spent most of my life as a Marvel Zombie (although Marvel is slowly decapitating this particular zombie). But, at this point, I can safely say that I love this show.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

This sums it up.


This is for the amusement of all of you who read my lame blog. All five of you.

Remember, he is not an artist. He is a manufactured product.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Job Interview today...

Part of the fun of pursuing a career in the entertainment industry is the little odd jobs you have to do while waiting for that break. I think that I will let you all in on a job interview I went to today.

Yesterday, I applied to a bunch of job ads on craigslist. Shortly after one of them, Luxe Marketing, called me to offer me an interview. While listening to her, I heard some very familiar buzzwords. "We'll train you to work in management." "You'll make a lot of money." "Guaranteed full time job."

It reminded me a lot of a job I only worked for one day about two years ago in Los Angeles. But yes, my spider-sense was tingling, but I went in anyway.

It turns out that it was a marketing company that pays you commission only. You can either go door to door, or hang out in malls trying to sell offers to remodel bathrooms, or pass out flyers for sporting goods stores. How passing out flyers can be a commission job is beyond me.

Now, I've worked more than a few jobs, more than a few gigs, and I've been to a lot of job interviews over the years. I know when smoke is being blown up my ass. So, after about fifteen minutes of listening to her, she asked me if I had any questions. Turns out that I did.

"You know, my mother has said to me in the past that I am a manipulative, lying snake. As such, I think I would serve Luxe Marketing much better doing what you do, and trying to dupe people into accepting these job offers. Would that be possible?"

I left, got myself some Chicken McNuggets, and came home. I found an e-mail asking me if I was interested in coming in for another interview

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mel Gibson

Why am I writing this? Because too many people still defend this creep. And, being that this blog is my blog, and it is about my commentary on pop culture, I don't think it is inappropriate to talk about this fallen icon. By the way, as a warning, fallen icon is the nicest thing I am going to say about him.

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We all know Mel Gibson. He was once the biggest superstar in Hollywood. "Lethal Weapon," "Braveheart," "Ransom," "Mad Max," "Chicken Run" (btw, I find it delicious that he was the heroic American in a children's movie that was Holocaust allegory), and so many others.

His personal life was what many would call the American dream. Aside from being fabulously wealthy, he was married to the same woman for twenty years and they had way too many children. He was voted People Magazine's sexiest man alive, and he was a sex symbol, and deemed one of Hollywood's nicest people.

Sure, there were warning signs early, like when he made some very homophobic remarks in the 90's. But, sadly, homosexuals are still considered to be acceptable targets by way too many people in this country, so that was allowed to slide.

"They take it up the ass. [pointing at his posterior] This is only for taking a shit."


When did I begin to see the warning bells? When he made "The Passion of the Christ." As soon as I saw that movie, I saw the real Mel Gibson. That movie was the most profitable piece of anti-semitic pop culture since "Mein Kampf" was published in Europe. Oh, but people kept on telling me it was a spiritual movie, that there was nothing anti-semitic about it. "Greg," they would say, "you're being an overly sensitive PC fuck head." Well, I was right. No one would admit it for a few more years, but I was right.

It was also around this time that Mel Gibson said his wife was going to Hell because she was Episcopalian and not a Catholic like him. He said this to reporters in a live interview. If you are so dogmatic with your religion that you believe such a thing about your wife, the mother of your children, then you better keep that shit to yourself. Of course, he later left her, because we all know Catholicism is okay with divorce and Henry VIII just kicked the Catholic Church out of England for shits and giggles.

And then, in 2006, Mel Gibson was pulled over, drunk off his ass, and what did he say to the cops?

"Fucking Jews... Jews are responsible for all wars in the world."


Oh, but wait, weren't his defenders saying he was not anti-semitic? You would think this would open some eyes. Well, it did for some, but his defenders got even more defensive, and blamed it on the alcohol. Now, I am going to spend the next paragraph telling people who still adhere to this what fucking retards they really are.

Alcohol does not make a racist. Adolf Hitler didn't have one too many drinks before he authorized his Final Solution. I've been drunk plenty of times, and I have never expressed any racist or bigoted thoughts. When I was drunk, I got way too honest, and some barriers came down, but I was only speaking my mind without a filter. That's what everyone I know does when they're drunk, and that's what Mel Gibson did when he got drunk. He expressed feelings that he already long held.

But, he issued a phony apology, and people forgave him. Because, sadly, it's okay to badmouth the Jews. Not okay with me, but okay with way too many people.

Well, after leaving his wife, Mel Gibson started a relationship with a mediocre musician named Oksana Grigorieva, and being the good, conservative Catholic that he is, fathered a daughter with her out of wedlock. And being the great man that he is, domineered, beat her, and terrified her. And once hit her hard enough to knock out teeth while she was holding their baby.

And then, Oksana, deciding she had enough, tape recorded phone conversations with Mel Gibson. These tapes got leaked, and hilarity ensued. Here are some of Mel's greatest hits:

"You're an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking bitch in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault."

"Shut the fuck up! You should just fucking smile and blow me! 'Cause I deserve it."

"I need medication? I need someone who fucking treats me like a man, like a human being. With kindness, who understands what gratitude is because I fucking bend over backwards with my balls in a knot."


There are so many more quotes from this, like when he calls Hispanic people "wetbacks" and he calls her "cunt" over and over and over again. So, let's see here, he's hit gays, Jews, women, blacks, and Hispanics. All that's left are Asians and Muslims.

And with that, most of what little support for him vanished. But there are still some idiots out there who continue to defend the man. Again, they say "he was just drunk, he didn't mean it." Again, these people are idiots.

Whoopi Goldberg defended him, said he is none of these things. But she has terrible taste in human beings anyway, she defended Roman Polanski when he raped a thirteen year old girl too.

And Jodie Foster defended him, and that one just broke my heart. I was a huge fan of Jodie Foster. She still put Mel Gibson in a movie called "The Beaver" about a mentally ill man who speaks through a beaver puppet. Because I guess Daniel Day-Lewis was way too sane to do this one. This movie has yet to come out, and it's being billed as his big comeback. Well, when "The Beaver" does come out, I urge people not to see this thing. If you must see it, steal it, because this behavior cannot be tolerated.

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Either way, this once mighty icon destroyed himself. He completely imploded, and as someone who saw the real Mel Gibson way back in 2004, when "The Passion of the Christ" came out (making Goebbels blush as he burns in Hell), I could not be happier. He's gone, he done. I don't think "The Beaver" will save him. And let's hope he never gets any beaver again, considering his obvious hatred for women along with everyone else.

Now, I just want to make it clear, I am not encouraging acts of violence, but I wouldn't mind too much if Mel Gibson had this happen to him:

The Grammys.

I rarely ever pay attention to the Grammys. I think of them as an exercise in bullshit, and a display for how low our pop culture continues to sink year after year after year.

You know how people complain about the Oscars always going to really obscure, arty movies? Well, the Grammys are the exact opposite, they always go to big giant radio acts. They usually reward the stupidest things ever. The Grammys usually tend to highlight why I don't listen to much modern music, 99% of it is audio cancer. We live in an era where the most popular music is horrible enough to make me want to fall into a bucket of AIDS and crack my head open.

First of all, Justin Bieber had no business even being in the room, let alone nominated. What an obnoxious, untalented little snot.

"I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."
- Justin Bieber


Well, you little snot, why don't you do your generation and everyone else's a favor and take yourself out early the same way he did.

Do you know what the best part of the Grammys was? Mick Jagger. There he is, seventy years old, and he was terrific. He was talented, he was elegant, he was still every bit the showman he ever was. And all those so called "young talent" sitting in the room, they will never be like him. They will never even be in the same league as him. They are not fit to shine his shoes. And while I enjoy Arcade Fire, no, they're not Jagger either. Nor will they ever be him.

Really enjoyed Bob Dylan also. That man, like Jagger, is still every bit as talented as he ever was.

I look at this, and I ask, where did all the great musicians go? Where are all our Deep Purples, and our Beatles, our Rolling Stones, Creams, Led Zeppelins, Pink Floyds, The Doors, Jefferson's Airplanes, Chuck Berry, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, Eric Clapton?

Nope, all we have now is crap like Nickelback, Black Eyed Peas, Britney Spears, and Justin Bieber.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Atlas Shrugged the Movie

So, Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" is being adapted into a movie.

That article amuses me.

In "Atlas Shrugged," the first sexual encounter that the "ideal" woman Dagny Taggart has with the "flawed but heroic" Hank Rearden is described in the following terms: "It was like an act of hatred, like the cutting blow of a lash encircling her body: she felt his arms around her, she felt her legs pulled forward against him and her chest bent back under the pressure of his, his mouth on hers"

And let us not forget our hero in "The Fountain Head" who raped Dominique. Oh wait, I forgot, Dominique "wanted it."

I could say more, but I will let Officer Barbrady sum it all up for me.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Infiltrator

Another week, and another new episode of "Young Justice." This series just gets better and better. The line-up is finally complete as Artemis joins the team.

I had a feeling Artemis was going to be my favorite member of the team, and the episode did not disappoint. She was intriguing from the get-go. Who is she? How come no one seems to have heard of her before. When Green Arrow introduced her as his niece, something just felt off. Well, the theme of the show seems to be Secrets and Lies, and so far they're doing it beautifully.

At the end of the episode, when Cheshire and later Speedy... er, I mean, Red Arrow, had their little confrontations with Artemis, I cannot say I was surprised. But still intrigued.

The League of Shadows served as this episode's antagonist. I think that was Sensei issuing the orders, but at the end he was speaking to the Light, and one particular member I don't think we've heard speak before this episode. If Sensei called him master, than I think we can safely identify him as Ra's al Ghul. Ra's knows Batman's real identity, and I cannot believe for a second that the attack on WayneTech wasn't a ploy to hack the Batcave.

As for the other new characters, I really, really liked Cheshire. I am interested in seeing her relationship with Artemis explored, not to mention that being a sucker for dark-eyed brunettes, she was hot. And she kicked a lot of ass.

I spotted the evil Spider-Man character, who wikipedia tells me is named Black Spider. After Weisman's previous series, "The Spectacular Spider-Man," I got a kick out of seeing him. I especially got a kick when I realized who was voicing him. None other than the spectacular Spider-Man himself, Josh Keaton. I'd recognize that impact grunt anywhere. My brother recognized him too.

No idea who the third assassin was.

It was nice to see Speedy again, and even nicer to see he has gone his own way as Red Arrow. But best of all was not just seeing him being an angry jerk. He still cares about his friends. That icy warning to Artemis at the end was the best development he's had all season. Looking forward to seeing more of him.

But, by far, the biggest surprise of the episode was Wally NOT hitting on a girl, specifically Artemis. He's hit on everything else that lacks a penis, but not Artemis. I wonder if that will change, or if he is always going to see her as his buddy's replacement.

The biggest laugh of the episode goes to the segments showing why telepathically linking a group of teenagers together is a bad idea. It reminded me of that episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" where Buffy gained telepathic powers.

But this episode left a lot of questions. I understand why Artemis is lying. But why was Green Arrow lying about who Artemis is? Was Batman in on it? If now, you'd think he'd vet new recruits better. Was the Light talking about Artemis at the end, or are we being misdirected? Well, it's either her or Superboy, who was created to be their weapon. I've noticed the Light don't seem broken up about him being in enemy hands, and you'd they would.

Curious...

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Gender Equality In Animation Or Why Can't Women Be As Perverse As Men?

I've written about female equality in animation before. Frankly, I don't think we're quite there yet. For the last two decades, women have thankfully graduated from being just girlfriends, victims and damsels to become strong, tough, and capable of taking on anything that a male character can. This is, of course, awesome.

On the flip side, it seems that whenever a woman is not being depicted as being just as tough as anyone in the room, you get cries of sexism. Well, I am going to say it. Not every woman in the world is a perfect bad ass. Adding to that, not every MAN in the world is a perfect bad ass!

Take Miss Martian from "Young Justice" for example. Since she appeared, all I've seen was that she is a bad role model for girls. She's not as tough as the other members of the team. She is the most socially awkward, and seems the least confident. If it were a male character, I don't think we'd be seeing this level of backlash.

True equality comes when you can have characters of both genders be just as strong or just as weak as anyone else. And I'm not saying Miss Martian is weak, the girl was obviously sheltered for obvious reasons, and I am sure she will continue to grow and mature just like the rest of the cast will.

On another note, and what I am also getting at. I am used to seeing a lot of womanizing male characters. But we don't often see female characters act that way towards males? Why is that? Most women are just as perverted, horny, and like to play the field as much as most men do.

Yes, I know there is a social stigma to that. But that is truly sexism. The womanizing man is hilarious, and a lovable goof ball. The woman who plays the field is a dirty slut. I have always called bullshit on this kind of thinking.

The only recent example I can think of where we had a prominent female character play the field was Mary Jane Watson in "The Spectacular Spider-Man." And I remember a pretty strong backlash against that. Never mind that this was true to Mary Jane back when Stan Lee and John Romita were telling her stories, nope... she went on one date with Peter and a lot of people expected her to become his dutiful girlfriend. After just one date. In their eyes, she became "the whore of Babylon." Again, bullshit. If Mary Jane was a "slut" then what the hell does that make Kid Flash?

Anyway, like I said, I think we will have really hit gender equality in animation the moment a female character can be just as "disgusting" and "sleazy" as any male character without any of that stigmata. Plenty of male characters only care about pussy and are beloved characters. Let's see a woman who is interested in just cock and not romance in animation without being demonized some time, shall we?

Monday, February 7, 2011

My first production.

Okay, so this wasn't the first little production I ever worked on (I'll tell you about that one some day), but it was the first one I ever produced in film school.

This was our second Film Gym project. We split off into three groups and had to work with the same script. The idea was to see how three different groups would interpret that same script. Unfortunately I don't have the other two at hand, I just have the one I produced.

The director and I worked hard on this one. First I cast my long time friend, and talented actress, Jennifer L. Anderson in the role of the mother. Then the director and I agreed to cast an actor who's done a lot of shorts for the school named J.R. Starr as the father. Finally, after calling several actresses, we cast Carla Culberson as the daughter, Lauren. I was worried, it took a very long time to cast her. Then we were faced with another interesting scenario, Jennifer is Caucasian while J.R. and Carla were both African-American. That led to a little on set re-working of the dialogue to say that Jennifer was the step-mother... the trophy wife. We have Lauren call her stepmother "mom" when she's sucking up, then slip into real names after. There was no real name in the script, so we used Jennifer's real name. What can I say, it's a nice name?

We arrived at 6am, and started shooting at 7am. We didn't finish until around 11:15am. We had two sets. One that we built in a storage closet, and the parking lot. Well, enough talking, here it is:



I thought it turned out rather well, the cast did well. The crew did well. We all worked quite well together, I think. It was fun.

Bill and I sat in the editing room for a while with this, experimenting. I forget whose idea it was to run the dialogue over the credits. But I loved it.

So, when the three groups showed this in class, the other two groups interpreted the script as a drama. While we played it as a comedy. Now, there is no right or wrong way to interpret it, every group is different. But what also interested me is how the dynamics were interpreted. Some saw the (step)mother character as the villain of the piece and played it that way. Actually, that's how our director originally wanted to play her, but we went more neutral. Some thought the step-mother was a bitch, and some thought Lauren was a little blood sucker. What do I think? Well, I have to let the work speak for itself.

I worked on a few more projects, but sadly they've been lost to the sands of time... and YouTube accounts were removed. But I have more stories to tell.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Stupidity On Set

And now, my loyal readers, I shall regale you with a tale from film school. A tale about why my name did not appear on the thesis film I produced, and why I never lost any sleep over it.

It began with one of my classmates, let's call her Tess. Tess was a directing major, a very bad directing major. But, we were friends, I needed to produce a thesis, she needed a producer, we decided to work together. This turned out to be a mistake, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Tess wanted to make a music video with some people she knew from back home in San Diego. Not professionals, just some friends of hers. Friends with no experience whatsoever. But I did not know this at the time.

Anyway, summer break was coming up, and as producer, I needed to file the paperwork before break started. This did not happen, because Tess never gave me the information I needed. No script, no shot list, she didn't even give me the names of these people. But, the show must go on, and on it went.

I returned from summer break, and we agreed to use my apartment in Burbank as one of the sets for the video. It was kinda gangsta with guns, and prop drugs. Again, Tess didn't get me the information I needed. Well, it turns out she didn't know the names of most of the cast for the music video. She told me to just make the names up. Sadly, I did, but honestly, I would never have received the information. When I asked for their names on set, all I got were some gansta rap aliases.

So, the day finally came where we filmed in my apartment. The cast and crew were supposed to arrive at my apartment at 9:30am. Shooting was supposed to start at 10am. But Tess didn't arrive until noon.

The shoot went about as well as you could expect. By the time the sun set, we were supposed to shoot a scene with some of the cast (Tess's friends) dressed as cops, breaking down the door and storming the place. Did I mention that they were carrying realistic looking prop guns? Did I also mention that they enjoyed playing and waving around those realistic looking prop guns when the camera wasn't rolling? Did I leave out that this was in my apartment complex's courtyard? And, since I didn't want the neighbors seeing these things and calling the cops, I politely asked them to stop waving the guns around. Polite became firm. Firm became angrily.

Anyway, the shoot ends, and I spend the next two days in the school's offices filing all of the paper work for Tess, she didn't give me information, so I was making up names, addresses, and contact information. No one gave it to me, no matter how much I asked.

Then, I don't hear from Tess for weeks. I call, I send e-mails. Nothing. And then, I get the e-mail. She removed my name from the credits, and blamed me for all the problems with her production. The cast all hated me. And if I ever attempted to contact her again, she would file a restraining order. She also told me not to try filing a complaint against her with the school, because she "had witnesses." Well, I filed my complaint anyway.

Then, a month later, came the graduation ceremony. All of the films were shown, and everyone walked regardless of whether you graduated or not. If you didn't, you either didn't receive your real diploma, or you repeated classes to make up for it. Well, I walked, I graduated, I received my real diploma with my major in producing emblazoned on it.

Tess walked, but she didn't graduate. She earned failing grades. Last I heard, she was taking some make up classes, but I have also heard through the grapevine that she didn't finish them.

Lesson learned, don't work with people just because you think you like them. I had some warning bells going off in my head, and I should have listened to my instincts. If you suspect they might be the slightest bit unprofessional, don't do it. Oh, and her music video sucked. I had to do everything possible to contain myself from laughing, and then when I got up to speak, to stop myself from thanking her for taking my name off that piece of shit. And, on the plus side, I have this wonderful story to entertain people with, that I fully intend to get some profitable mileage out of some day.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Schooled

The fifth episode of "Young Justice" airs, and the series continues its upward climb in quality. This week's episode was penned by Nicole Dubuc, who previously worked with Greg Weisman on "W.I.T.C.H." and "The Spectacular Spider-Man."

Also making a return from "The Spectacular Spider-Man" are Vanessa Marshall as Black Canary, and Peter MacNicol as Professor Ivo. Marshall brings a cool, confident, and collected sexiness to Black Canary that perfectly fits the character. Honestly, I think she's my favorite actress to voice the character, and this is following the incredibly talented Morena Baccarin ("Firefly") and Grey DeLisle ("Avatar the Last Airbender"). I'll admit, I know very little about the character, but I have read that she is Weisman's favorite comic book character of all time, and as such, I am eager to learn more about her. Her character model is great, very sexy (even if I normally don't go for blondes), but it looks like her famous fishnet stockings have been stolen by the Flaming C.

Then there is Professor Ivo, a character I know nothing about except that dead guy in "Justice League" who constructed the android that was occasionally called AMAZO... but almost under protest from the writing team on that show. I liked Peter MacNicol's performance, but listening to him made me wish I was watching more of Dr. Octopus. I'll admit, I am still not quite over the cancellation of "The Spectacular Spider-Man." At this point, I'm willing to bet he's working for the Light.

And finally, rounding out the introductions, we have AMAZO. I mostly know AMAZO from "Justice League" and "Justice League Unlimited" and while he was an intriguing character in those shows, they kind of wrote themselves into a corner with him by turning him into a veritable god. The last time we saw him, he teleported himself to the other end of the universe to figure out a way to defeat Solomon Grundy... and they left him there. Probably Forever. Obviously, I don't think we want someone THAT powerful in "Young Justice." But I enjoyed what we got here.

Now, the emotional core of the episode: Superboy. The hotheaded, Kryptonian clone is beginning to grow on me. I understand him, I understand where he's coming from and why he is the way he is. But he's growing and learning. He's got a long way to go, but he's definitely getting better. I enjoyed seeing him use his head, and turn his anger into a strength when he outwitted AMAZO.

Robin continues to butcher the English language, and even I have to admit it's getting a little old. I understand that this is his quirk. But if I were doing that, most of my friends would have told me to shut up by now. Still, I like him.

I am continuing to really like Kid Flash. My favorite moment had to be him hitting on Black Canary before being royally schooled. On that note, I loved it when she royally schooled Superboy.

Now, as for Superman, I'll admit this upfront, I have never been a fan of Superman and I doubt I will ever be a fan of Superman. The character has always been presented as way too perfect for me. Yes, he is "super" but he is also a man, first and foremost. Men aren't perfect and never will be. Which is why I am one of the few I have conversed with who isn't annoyed about his treatment of Superboy. Well, I am annoyed in the sense that Clark is being a jerk, but I like seeing Clark being portrayed with an understandable character flaw. There is a tendency among many Superman fans, that I've noticed, where if Clark isn't portrayed as being better than Jesus Christ, they go ballistic. I think this is a far more realistic take on the character in this situtation, and it works for me. But then, I'm not a Superman fan, so what do I know?

Overall, a pretty great episode. I look forward to next week's, and the introduction of whomever it was that fired that arrow.

Oh yeah, and my favorite moment in the entire episode, when Clark ordered an Apple Pie and Bruce Wayne ordered a Devil's Food.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Obsessive 'Shippers

This is a post that I have been meaning to make for a while. This is not a review, this is me swinging another clue-by-four. Among the halls of fandom there exists a subsection referred to as 'shippers. Now, most 'shippers just have fun and enjoy themselves. They're relatively harmless. Those are not the 'shippers I am about to talk about. This is about the 'shippers who take it way too seriously. Obsessive 'Shippers.

Short definitions first, Obsessive 'Shippers are the lowest form of fandom there is. They are even worse than the people who show up to jury duty in Starfleet uniforms and demand to be addressed by their rank. That's not useless, it's an imaginative way to get out of jury duty. Obsessive 'Shippers are just scary, and quite frankly, useless people.

You see, Obsessive 'Shippers do not care about little things like story or character development. They want one thing and one thing only, to see the characters they picked hook up and fuck like bunnies. While a normal 'shipper will write and draw such things without taking it seriously. Obsessive 'Shippers demand that the canon conform to what they want to see, and if it doesn't go their way... look out.

Let me start with an example of obsessive 'shipping in the "Gargoyles" fandom. There are fans, and lots of them, who think Elisa Maza should hook up with Demona. Okay, while that might lead to some erotically hot fan art, some of them take things too far and declare that Greg Weisman got things wrong. No, I did not type.

Elisa Maza is a human police detective who becomes Goliath's love interest. It's a classic beauty and the beast story. Elisa is supposed to symbolize humanity at its best and be Goliath's beacon for hope after the great tragedies that affected him.

Demona is genocidal gargoyle who is beyond racist against the human species. She was Goliath's former mate, but turned away from him because he refused to join her in her war against the humans. While Goliath was bitter at the destruction of his clan, he is moving forward as an optimist, while Demona who messed up and caused the destruction of her clan projects all of her repressed guilt on to humanity and wants us, and any gargoyles who oppose her dead. She really, really, really hates Elisa's guts. Elisa is living proof that Demona is wrong about humans, and Demona can't have that. And Demona is jealous of the detective.

And people think Demona and Elisa are really, secretly in love with each other, and that if Greg Weisman were smart, he'd realize this. Sigh, gag me. Of course, I see him drawing the ire of Obsessive 'Shippers again with his new show, "Young Justice." Only four episodes in, and they're already dictating who belongs with who.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Next up is something a tad more infamous. Fans of "Avatar the Last Airbender" who think Katara and Zuko should have hooked up. They've even got a name, Zutaran... which sounds like some weird alien species, or some venereal disease. It would be okay if it was just a fun diversion, but these people think that not only did Mike and Bryan get it wrong, but that Mike and Bryan are out to get them.

Well, to be fair, Mike and Bryan have made no secret of their contempt for that pairing, and even made fun of the fans of it. But the fans who don't take it too seriously took that poking for the fun that it was. The Obsessive 'Shippers completely lost their shit. There were death threats.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Speaking of death threats, we arrive at my third example, J.K. Rowling and her "Harry Potter" series.

I don't need to explain "Harry Potter" since everyone in the civilized world knows what I'm talking about. But, some fans think that Harry and Hermione Granger should have gotten together at the end of the series. This didn't happen. Hermione hooked up with Ron Weasley and Harry hooked up with Ron's sister, Ginny.

The Obsessive 'Shippers claim this came out of no where. But, like anyone with the reading comprehension skills to understand a children's book, I saw the seeds planted here as far back as the second book. Hell, as far back as the first book. There was never any chemistry between Harry and Hermione, they were almost siblings. I don't understand the logic? Well, I guess there is no way to understand logic where none exists.

How much did these people lose their shit? Death threats were sent to J.K. Rowling and books were burned. Yup, the two groups that burned "Harry Potter" books are fascist Christians and Obsessive 'Shippers. Actually, even the Westboro Baptist Church doesn't burn the books, I once heard Shirley Phelps on the radio saying they're all big fans of the books and read them to their kids.

Congratulations Obsessive 'Shippers, you are worse than the Fred Phelps Cult.

*smacks them with a clue-by-four*

Now, I'm sure this post will draw me some ire, but I'm going to be optimistic and hope those whacks with the clue-by-four knock some sense into people. There is no problem being a fan of something. There is no problem being a huge fan of something. But watch the extremes you take it to, because some of you are losing all touch with reality, even a fictional reality.