Some people have been complaining about "Young Justice." A lot of people don't seem to like the teenage angst, how Superman is... concerned... about being cloned against his will, and some even think the villains are way too smart. I decided to give them something that I think will be more up their alley.
Mount Justice -- Other cartoons don't give date and time stamps, we should stop putting in the effort.
Superman lands in the cave and finds Superboy.
Superboy: Daddy! I missed you!
Superboy leaps off the couch and runs up to Superman where the two hug and kiss.
Superman: Ready for the picnic, junior?
Superboy: Gee whiz, dad. Can I bring my girlfriend, Megan?
Superman: I don't see why not. How are you and the rest of the team faring?
Superboy: Terrific. Aqualad is my best friend in the whole world.
Superman: I'm glad to hear it. I love you, junior.
Superboy: I love you too, dad.
The Hall of Doom
Vandal Savage stands at his podium and addresses the Legion of Doom.
Vandal Savage: Our mole within Mount Justice tells us that Superman, Superboy, and that teenage martian are going for a picnic in the Golden Meadow of Friendship. Now is the time to strike. Bwa ha ha!
Lex Luthor: Vandal, what have I told you about stealing my lines?
Vandal Savage: Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Luthor. I forgot that you are the only one allowed to be the Uber-Supervillain in an animated DC show.
Queen Bee: Like, yeah, Vandal. Show some respect.
Queen Bee gets up and starts giving Lex Luthor a lap dance. Vandal Savage sits down in his seat and Luthor stands at the podium as Queen Bee continues to give him a G-rated dry-humping.
Lex Luthor: Our mole within Mount Justice tells us that Superman, Superboy, and that teenage martian are going for a picnic in the Golden Meadow of Friendship. Now is the time to strike. Bwa ha ha!
Ra's al Ghul: Brilliant strategy, my lord Luthor. Brilliant.
A hockey puck slides across the room and Sportsmaster, Cheshire, and Red Volcano come into the great room on roller blades chasing it.
Lex Luthor: Sportsmaster, you fool! Does this look like a playground? We are conducting important work here! Bwa ha ha!
Sportsmaster: I'm sorry, Mr. Luthor. Please don't holler at me.
Lex Luthor: Well, you should be.
Klarion: What if we make a Kryptonite hockey puck, go to the Golden Meadow of Friendship and challenge Superman and those teeny boppers to a hockey game?
Lex Luthor: Brilliant plan, I'm glad I thought of it. Bwa ha ha!
The assembled villains all join him in an echoing Bwa ha ha!
The Golden Meadow of Friendship - On a bright and sunny day
Superman stands at the barbeque making weenies and hamburgers while Superboy and Miss Martian play checkers.
Superman: Hamburger or hotdog?
Superboy: Veggieburger, dad. Cows have feelings too, we shouldn't eat them.
Miss Martian: How progressive of you, Superboy. I love you.
Miss Martian leans in to kiss him on the cheek, but Superboy pulls away.
Superboy: Now, now, M'Gann. Not until we are married.
Miss Martian: Hello, Megan! What was I thinking? I'm so sorry.
Superman: You're both great kids.
Suddenly, an evil flying saucer descends in the Golden Meadow of Friendship and out of it step Lex Luthor, Vandal Savage, Sportsmaster, Klarion, and Queen Bee. The guys all wearing roller blades and hockey masks. Queen Bee dressed as a cheerleader.
Lex Luthor: Hello, Superfool!
Superman: Luthor. What do you want now?
Lex Luthor: A challenge. If your team can beat us at hockey, you can throw us all in jail where we will reflect on the nasty things we have done, reform and eventually take jobs at the Peace Corps. But if we win, you and the Justice League surrender... and the Legion of Doom shall spread The Dark all across the world!
Superman: Looks like we have no choice. Let me assemble my team.
Lex Luthor: By all means.
Aqualad, Kid Flash, Robin, Zatanna and Artemis arrive. All dressed in hockey uniforms, except the girls who are dressed as cheerleaders. Superman and Superboy don hockey uniforms and rollerblades too, while Miss Martian joins Artemis and Zatanna, opposite Queen Bee as cheerleaders.
Lex Luthor: Let the game begin.
Sportsmaster hits the kryptonite puck with his hockey stick, sending it flying towards Superman!!!!! But Kid Flash spots it, and using the Speed Force, he runs at ten times the speed of light to grab the kryptonite before it can hit Superman and throws it into space, directly towards the center of the sun.
Lex Luthor: No!
Superman: Cheaters never prosper, Luthor.
The young heroes and Superman capture the Legion of Doom.
Lex Luthor: Bah! No prison can hold us, we'll be back to menace you all next week!
Robin: And we'll be waiting, baldy!
The Legion of Doom are taken away, and Superman and heroes turn towards the camera.
Superman: And remember, winners don't use drugs. Right kids?
Superboy, Robin, Miss Martian, Artemis, Kid Flash, Zatanna: Right, Supes!
We fade to black as they all laugh.