The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Greg's Thirty Reasons Why the GOP Lost

1. You can't make a big deal about ObamaCare when RomneyCare is its rich uncle.

2. You lost tons of votes to Gary Johnson because your party has become snotty, fundie, and nasty without any sort of adherence to stated principles.

3. Your nominee was the Monopoly Guy. I was half-expecting to see him bust out a monocle.

4. Akin and Mourdock. facepalm

5. You bitched and moaned about Obama waging class warfare, and then turned around and divided up 
Americans into the "takers vs makers" and relegated the poor into a "mooching class."

6. Neoconservatism is dead. It's also not really conservatism.

7. Borrow and Spend is not a viable alternative to Tax and Spend.

8. You got sucked into stupid wedge issues like Sandra Fluke's lady bits.

9. Your party has become very derisive and mean.

10. Crybaby conservatism is not appealing. The entire media is not out to get you. Polls were not skewed. Nate Silver is not an ideologue.

11. The Echo Chamber blocks any points of view not in lock-step with the party line.

12. Being a slave to ideological purism is not appealing.

13. Tax cuts don't solve every single fiscal problem no matter what the situation.

14. 47%

15. You co-opted the Tea Party early on and balled it into a Michelle Bachmann/Sarah Palin/Allen West amorphous beast. What once started out as a principled opposition to Wall Street and Bank Bailouts was sheisted onto the fundie train.

16. Sarah Palin. Did I mention her?

17. Banishing small-l libertarians. And banishing Big-L Libertarians too, for that matter.

18. The Breitbartization of the way you get information.

19. Birthers and other specialty derps.

20. Donald Trump.

21. The way you handled Ron Paul.

22. If every Republican is a RINO, then what is a RINO, really?

23. The hypermasturbatory usage of the term "Job Creators."

24. Get over the whole gay marriage thing. That battle is lost.

25. People that live in cities are not all yuppie liberal douches. Stop referring to the quintessential "Real American" hardworking families that somehow all live in Whitetown, Kansas all the fucking time.

26. Get over the whole abortion thing. That battle is lost.

27. Your foreign policy is EXACTLY THE SAME as the Democrats' - how you cannot see this is inexplicably frustrating.

28. You framed most of the platform in a negative way, and the stuff you were positive about, you were vague as hell. Very suspicious.

29. It was pretty obvious that Romney's core values were non-existent. Other than wanting to be President, does anyone really know what the guy stood for? At least George W. Bush had the balls to stand for something.

30. The party has shifted. I wouldn't say it's shifted to be more "right-wing" or "conservative." I think it's shifted "internal." Everything the party does is reinforced by the acceptable so-called conservative media (FNC, Breitbart, Drudge, etc.). The GOP has surrounded itself with Yes-Men, and anyone within the ranks who disagrees is belittled, thrown out, or exits on their own. There is no real debate other than how much more "pure" it should be. Refusing to see any validity from anyone with a D after their name, crushing all so-called "moderates," padding their cells with their own pollsters and bloggers, the Republican Party has become a self-perpetuating talking points machine of angry pricks.


  1. "21. The way you handled Ron Paul."

    Forgive me for sounding naive, but can you explain this one?

    1. It goes back to how they pretty much told libertarians to shut up and go away. Ron Paul has a lot of supporters, and I have a lot of my own disagreements with Paul, but he has a strong voice out there and different ideas.

      But the Republican Party stopped being about small government a long, long time ago. It became the party of Right-Wing Authoritarianism. They didn't want libertarians, and most libertarians stayed home or voted for Gary Johnson.

  2. 31. Paul Ryan looks like Fred Savage. :p

    1. I thought Ryan looked like Jake Gylennhall(sp?)

      Here's one
      32. Clint Eastwood and the chair

      Off-topic- Greg, are you going to watch "Skyfall" and "Lincoln"?

      I'm surprised that you didn't include any Bond villains in your movie villains a few months ago. Are you planning to do a separate list for your favorite Bond villains? It would be nice to see your insight on the villains of 007.

      Speaking of Lincoln, I think you might get a chuckle out of this video.

    2. I have hopes to see "Skyfall" and definite plans to see "Lincoln."

      As for Bond villains, for the most part I find him more interesting than his enemies. So I can't say I have deep thoughts on Bond villains. Most of them are fun for what they are.

  3. Greg, is it okay if I post this at a political site I'm a member of? Naturally, I wouldn't take any credit for it. The Dems would get a kick out of it, and a few of my fellow Republicans might benefit from reading it.


  4. 33. Big Bird

    Though really, that one was just...what?

  5. "9. Your party has become very derisive and mean."

    True, but so have the Democrats, so I wouldn't say that was a reason as to why the GOP lost. It's all the other stuff in addition to it. The Democrats simply had less baggage than the GOP did this election.

    1. Keep in mind, I'm by no means big on Obama either. But I never heard Democrats say one word about Romney's Mormonism. But not a day goes by that I don't hear about Obama being a secret muslim, not a christian, not a citizen, whatever... and we all know where that's really coming from.

  6. The immigration issue is another one they lost on.

    And not just abortion, birth control in general.

    I ran the numbers, the Republicans in the 112th Congress (the one ending soon), were 90% male and 95% white. In the 113th Congress, the Republicans will 91% male and 97% white. Way for them to shore up their base, except it's shrinking.

  7. Actually, none of these reasons are correct. The only reason the GOP lost is because the Chinese had Eric Cartman steal thousands of swing state votes for Romney so that the re-elected Obama would force Disney to relinquish the rights to Star Wars to them.

    ....Sorry, I couldn't resist.

  8. I vehemently disagree with you on point 26. I do not think that Republicans should drop that issue, EVER. I will leave the party if they do.

    But as to everything else...Can't say I disagree with you on that.

  9. Wish I saw John Stewart read this, but oh well.
    1 Yup
    2 Who is Gary Johnson?
    3 Don't forget the top hat, cape, and twisty mustache.
    4 Could you explain this one?
    5 Damn straight!
    6 What the hell is neoconservativism anyways? All I know is that I have talked to people that consider themselves conservative an agree that the GOP isn't.
    7 and 8, I don't get these.
    9 Every for American politics they're mean. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard them call somebody a terrorist, I'd be richer than Warren Buffet.
    10 Crybaby conservatism? That basically mean they call everything a threat to America?
    11 What's the Echo Chamber?
    12 What exactly do you mean by "Ideological Purism", do you mean that they seem to care about a bunch of pointless ideologies that just drive people away?
    13 Hopefully they'll EVENTUALLY get this one.
    14 I don't want to vote for a party whose supporters want talk like.
    15 I'm confused on this one.
    16 Wasn't she not doing anything this election?
    17 Don't they bash everything?
    18 Is that supposed to mean all information they get they use to bash liberals, I'm not familiar with this term.
    19 Eh, what?
    20 I didn't think he did much.
    21 Meaning they alienated him?
    22 I'd like to know what I RINO is.
    23 Thank you! The worst part is that I met somebody that actually believes that bullshit, and I have a microeconomics teacher, who while he's by no means dumb, believes in the argument that higher taxes on the rich is "punishing success."
    24 I hope that they get over it, but I doubt it.
    25 That was probably the funniest item on the list.
    26 Oh boy, I really doubt that they'll move past that.
    27 Pretty much the only difference I see between them is the Republicans say "I will destroy Iran" and Democrats say "I will destroy Iran if left with no other options."
    28 The only stuff I heard on their platform was stuff I hate.
    29 I even saw magazines ask what he believe.
    30 They claim they're now in a Civil War because some people in the party had the guts to disagree with them.

    1. "Wish I saw John Stewart read this, but oh well."

      It's Jon Stewart, and he didn't read this.

      "2 Who is Gary Johnson?"

      "4 Could you explain this one?"

      "6 What the hell is neoconservativism anyways? All I know is that I have talked to people that consider themselves conservative an agree that the GOP isn't."

      "8. You got sucked into stupid wedge issues like Sandra Fluke's lady bits."

      "11 What's the Echo Chamber?"

      "12 What exactly do you mean by "Ideological Purism", do you mean that they seem to care about a bunch of pointless ideologies that just drive people away?"

      "15 I'm confused on this one."

      Go to your dictionary and look up the words that are giving you trouble.

      "17 Don't they bash everything?"

      I said BANISH! Not bash! Can't you read?

      "18 Is that supposed to mean all information they get they use to bash liberals, I'm not familiar with this term."

      "19 Eh, what?"

      "21 Meaning they alienated him?"

      For fucks sake, use google!

      "22 I'd like to know what I RINO is."

  10. Also, lets not forget:
    34: Your party is controlled by sexist hacks that want to set women's rights back 200 years.