The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Want to Hear About My Evening?

It’s cold out. Very cold. A movie I’ve been looking forward to all year had premiered. We head out on a long drive, our gas is low, we have enough to make it to the theater. We arrive at the theater to long lines to grab tickets, we have ten minutes to spare. Either way, we know we might miss some, or get terrible seats. We get on line.

After a long wait on line, we find out that “Lincoln” is sold out. It is playing on one screen. Only one screen. There won’t be another showing for the rest of the evening. I am disappointed, but it is only a movie. Then I find myself getting angry on principle. What happened? Why was “Lincoln” playing on only one screen with three showings a day? Because “Fucking Twilight” is playing on three with over sixteen showings a day.

The great American President that freed the slaves, preserved the union, and died for this, the Great Emancipator, the one whom many consider to be the greatest President, one of history’s most important figures… tossed aside for “Fucking Twilight.” I’m not angry because I didn’t get to see a movie I wanted to see, I am angry because “Fucking Twilight” is getting this sort of demand from the mindless consumers. From our dear retarded culture.

If you went to see “Fucking Twilight” this weekend, I pretty much hate you. Do the world a favor and go crucify yourself.


  1. Just imagine yourself with the sadistic vampire No-Life King, Alucard going on a rampage for the Twilight cast and its rabid fanbase....

  2. Sorry to hijack this thread, but THE MOTHERFUCKING HOBGOBLIN IS BACK BABY! And it's "THE REAL ONE", Roderick Kingsley (sporting a badass Macbeth beard).

    I apologize to Dan Slott for thinking anyone at Marvel would be stupid enough to bring Roderick back after an over decade long exile just to kill him off. Well okay, that's not entirely true, but I should've known better that Dan Slott is not one of them.

    1. Alright, maybe not a Macbeth beard. But he still looks awesome.