The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Hurricane Sandy

The Frankenstorm is coming. I'm currently residing in New York, near Manhattan, and I'm expecting to be... inconvenienced for a few days. But when this clears up, I will do a big "Dexter" review. With "Young Justice" on hiatus, I'll look for another series to review alongside "Dexter." We'll see.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Retro Review: A Decepticon Raider In King Arthur's Court


Hear ye, hear ye. Forsooth we shall observe as yon Autobots Hoist, and Warpath and yon Decepticons Starscream, Ramjet, Rumble and Ravage depart through the mists of time and come on to the year of our lord 543. Whereupon the Decepticons allyeth themselves with Sir Wigend du Blackthorne to commit foul villainy upon the countryside of thy noble Sir Aetheling the Red and his comely daughter, thy fair Princess Nimue.

As thou Starsceam is a frothy, onion-eyed, nuthook, Starscream is fast to rejoice his good fortune as he doth  calculates that he doth has 1451 years before thy vain scut, Megatron shall awaken. Thou Starscream's math is as tushery as the pronunciation of thy name of Nimue and thy use of Ye Olde English.

Fair maiden Nimue doth selects thy mammering Spike Witwicky to champion her in a joust, leading to his lumpish performance. Starscream chooseth to silence thy mewling quim and abducts her, aseth he seizes the castle of Sir Blackthourne and crushes thy grandmother's jewels to maketh a wire and offend thy sensibilities.



Warpath, Hoist, Spike and Aetheling march upon Castle Starscream and lay siege after Rumble fetches a basket of bird shite as picturedeth aboveth. As Starscream stands triumphant upon thy castle parapets, the droning wizard, Beorht appears on thy hill and summons lightning upon thy Autobots who proceedeth to defeat thy Decepticons. Spike sooneth is cockblocketh by Sir Blackthourne who has repented his treacherous ways when he and Nimue agree to wed.

On the morrow, thy Autobots and Decepticons approach thine Stonehenge where upon a dragon sets eyes and attacketh them. As thy dragon escapes, thy robots enter thy Stonehenge and returneth to 1985 where upon Starscream glompeth Megatron in a lustful display of faggotry that thy Bible has forbidden in the chapters of Leviticus.

Thy episode sucketh with a most amusing stupidity. But I questioneth one thing? Where upon the countryside was King Arthur?

Think about your answer

Of these four characters, which would you most like to hear tell you sincerely that they are proud of you?


Definitely not Superman, he would tell that to literally anyone, even just a kid who got an A on his spelling test. Superman will say that about anyone that isn’t a cackling psychopath. It has no meaning coming from him.

Cap is tempting… that, and unlike Supes, he fought Hitler.

I pick Doom. If you impress Doom, you’ve probably redefined the limits of what is possible. Supes and Cap would be proud of you if you helped a little old lady across the street. Luthor would be proud for something just minorly evil. If you impressed Doom, you’re a fucking giant. ”I’m proud of you” from Doom would be like “You’re the greatest person I’ve ever met” from Superman.

Why Apocalypse Sucks


So… let me get this straight… you’ve been alive for thousands of years… you’ve got power on a cosmic level… weapons and abilities you tripped over from the far flung future, and handed to you by Celestial beings… and you’ve never actually accomplished anything. Apocalypse’ mutant power is increasing his failure rate.

And 90’s fans think he is better than Magneto because……….?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Happy 18th!


Eighteen years ago today, the greatest animated series of all time premiered. Never surpassed, hell never even equaled. Happy Birthday, "Gargoyles"!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Before The Dawn


Why am I so late on this review? Because Comic Con is exhausting.

With this episode, we go on hiatus again. But, since it was legally available for a bit, I don't mind reviewing it now. Obviously, this is a significant episode, hell there was an outside chance this could have been the series finale. But, with this episode, we're ten episodes away from the end of "Invasion" and, quite possibly, the end of the series.

A lot of significant events happened. We now know the identity of the Light's new partner. An alien species called the Reach, who are the creators of Blue Beetle's armor. We also meet Black Beetle, who right away proves himself as a force to be reckoned with. The Team was clearly no match for him until Blue Beetle allowed the scarab to take control. Black Beetle is obviously a team buster, and he will be a real challenge for the Team to later overcome.

Miss Martian ran into Kaldur again and did what we all suspected would happen and mind-raped him, and in the process learned the truth. We've seen the beginning of how this affects her, and I doubt she will be doing this again. But how will this affect Kaldur? We know from Psimon that one can recover from this, but will Kaldur return as a genuine son for Black Manta and true servant of the Light? And now Artemis is in even deeper than she already was. Instead of backing up Kaldur, she is now the undercover agent close to the Light and the Reach. Wally was right, it's gotten more dangerous.

The Reach have openly revealed themselves to humanity and come as friends, a wise move on their part... do that before the Justice League can reveal the truth. And with G. Gordon Godfrey as a willing mouthpiece for them, they will have public relations on their side. We also know that thanks to Impulse, the Reach destroy our civilization in the future. Is this what the Light had in mind? I'd tend to doubt it, but we also don't know much about the future Impulse came from, or what the Light's status in that period is. I don't doubt that the Light would get hoisted by their own petard, but we know the Reach isn't their only extraterrestrial ally.

Which leads me to wonder... where is Darkseid and Apokolips? They had a presence in the first season, but haven't been mentioned or alluded to much this season. I do not believe for a moment the production team has forgotten them, but I do wonder if ten more episodes for the season would be enough to contain them on top of dealing with the Reach. But maybe a confrontation with Darkseid is being left for a possible third season. Well, time will tell.

At this point, no third season has been announced. Whether or not we'll get one is impossible to know, but we've got ten more episodes to go, and if this is all we're going to get, I will safely assume we'll be in for quite a ride. See you in January... I hope.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Because Our Country Is At Stake



Do we need any further proof that the Commission on Presidential Debates is a criminal organization? Actually, the more that I do research, the more that I think this organization can be investigated and prosecuted under the RICO Act.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Before anyone asks

Yes, I heard about DC Nation.

No, I will not write a rant about it.

I heard the news on a day that was already crappy for personal reasons.

But if you want my comment: This blows.

Afraid that's all you're getting. Yes, it does indeed blow.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sunshine and Frosty Swirl


This season is really on a roll. I love it when I can get angry at the main characters in a production when it's not because the production is terrible. As with last episode, this one was heart-wrenching. I think the best reason to the argument that Dexter is not as bad as the people he kills would come from one of the season two episodes. Dexter is looking around at all the bodies that were dragged up from the ocean floor and he simply says “How many more bodies would there be if I hadn’t killed these people.” That’s my stance on this issue and it always has been.

All that being said, and this is what made me angry at Dexter, it's not just about him anymore. Truth be told, it wasn't about him the moment he committed to Rita way back in the show's inaugural season. But this is different, Debra is his adopted sister, who he grew up with, is in on the secret. She is trying to help him, she helped him cover up a murder, and she is sticking her neck out for him. If Dexter gets caught, Deb is an accomplice and her career is the least she will have to worry about. Seeing Dexter just manipulate her like that, and give her a moment of hope for him just to get her off his back briefly made me angry at him. I know it's an addiction, I get that... but he could at least try to help her help him.

Is Debra being naive thinking she can be Dexter's rehab? Sadly, the answer is yes. But I won't begrudge her for it. Be is family, friend, or lover, I know what it's like to love someone that much... would I turn in my favorite human being on the planet if I discovered a secret this dark? I don't know... maybe I'm stupid myself, but right now I'd say no. Granted I haven't been confronted with the situation and I hope I never am, but I empathize with Deb here even as much as I think she is kidding herself. I really have to hand it to Jennifer Carpenter for the performance she is turning in. When she punched him in the face before storming out of his apartment, you could feel the mix of emotions.

I hope Louise Green goes away and soon. Do I believe his story that this is about Dexter trashing his game? I'm not sure. I have met some geeks who are that OCD and insane about their obsessions and fixations. But, at this point, I think Dexter is handling this all wrong. Louise had Dexter's credit card numbers! He was hacking his accounts. Tell Debra, let her handle it! Yeah, Dexter would have to explain breaking into his apartment... but she already knows that he's the Bay Harbor Butcher. I think she'd just be relieved he didn't kill anybody at this point. There is already enough to send Louise to prison. And if he does know about Dexter's secret too...

... well, that could actually be a problem. LaGuerta is going to be trouble this season. Well, she's always trouble, but now she knows for sure that Doakes wasn't the Bay Harbor Butcher. Considering that relationship, she is going to do everything in her power to find the real Bay Harbor Butcher. Will she be dead by the end of the season? I suspect one long time character will be. My money is on either LaGuerta or Deb.

The subplot about the Ukrainian mob boss hasn't grabbed me yet, but it's still early, we'll see where this goes.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Darkest


"I always wanted, expected to-to grow up and become him. And the hero bit, I'm still all in. But that thing inside of him, that thing that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission, that's not me. I don't want to be the Batman anymore."
- Richard Grayson, "Disordered"

I suppose the question is, have Dick Grayson, Kaldur, and Artemis Crock become what they fight against? Does doing what is necessary supersede doing what is right? I am reminded of Michael Corleone's quote: "it's dangerous to be an honest man."

The series has really grown up in its sophomore season. Things have gotten darker and a lot more serious, and it makes sense since our main cast have grown up. The world is no longer black and white, not that it was before, but "Darkness" really hammers that in. I don't know what was colder, Kaldur threatening to blow up Mount Justice, or him ordering Artemis to do it... and Artemis actually doing it. I know why they did it, and while some might say "it's just a mountain" it's still a cold act while fighting a war. Beast Boy was watching "Hello Megan" before Kaldur and his team invaded and those tapes have been incinerated. They were probably all Gar had left of his mom. But "Hello Megan" tapes aren't going to defeat the Light and stop the invasion now, are they?

As we go forward, not only is Nightwing becoming more like Batman than he wanted to, it seems like he and his "conspiracy" are becoming more like the Light than they would ever want to be. Four people, with a vision for victory, conspiring together, using everyone around them like pawns to achieve the greater good. They have become much like the Light. The key differences there are that Nightwing's team, let's call them "The Dark" for now wish to save the world from people who are clearly villains and an invasion. Of course, Vandal Savage seeks to save mankind from the League's coddling and speed up our evolution to become a galactic superpower. So both groups have their reasons and their excuses, and while we know how far Savage is willing to go to achieve his vision, what happens when "The Dark" need to make an even larger sacrifice in order to stop the invasion? I guess we'll soon see. My favorite scene had to be when Wally confronted Dick at the Hall of Justice and just about lost it with him. Is Wally right? Absolutely. What's right and what's necessary are clashing and I can't get enough of it.

The episode was excellent, as "Invasion" has consistently been. I've mentioned it before, but so far I've enjoyed the second season more than the first. I really like where this is going, and the season has managed to repeatedly surprise me. I realize this is darker than most animated superhero fare, but I enjoy this sort of thing. "Secrets and Lies" hasn't gone away, and more so than in season one, this really feels like black-ops.  Thank you for not playing it safe, I can't wait for next week.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Michelle Bachmann and Rick Santorum are the two worst people in the country. They can get up, in front of audiences and spew bigotry towards gay people, and people applaud. Adolf Hitler used to do the same thing in beer halls, and instead of applauding, if the people in those halls got up and beat the shit out of him, we would never have had World War II. Bachmann and Santorum get applause... there should be shoes being thrown, there should be rocks being thrown. These people should be publicly shamed and run out of the country to live in a place that is more in line with their bigoted beliefs.

TV's Best Protagonists!






Let's here it for cable television's sociopathic leads! Thank you, cable, for giving us protagonists that are way too hot for network and yet, somehow, still less evil than Jay Leno.

Monday, October 1, 2012

"Are You...?"


The events of this episode were a long time coming. Lieutenant Debra Morgan of Miami Metro Homicide knows the truth about her brother. This is a moment the show has been building up to for years now, it was teased for a long time, so when this finally came, it had to be done just right. One misstep and it would have been a betrayal to both the fans and, let's be frank, basic common sense. The bar was set really high, and I for one was not let down.

As the episode opens, we pick-up where season six left off, Dexter had Travis Marshall laid out on the alter at the church, he plunges the knife into his chest and Debra had just walked in. As well done as this scene was, my own fears about the execution began to pick at me, because I thought she accepted his explanation too easily, and helped him cover up the murder to readily. But, as the episode progresses, her detective's instincts just won't let this go, and she keeps asking questions. Dexter is smart enough to answer these questions well (dodgy, but well), and as much as Debra wants to believe him, she can't ignore her instincts. As the episode ends, Dexter returns home late from murdering the latest scumbag of the week to find Debra in his apartment all his blood slides on the table, his murder kit on the table, and everything is now out in the open. "Are you..." the answer is "yes."

This was easily the best episode since the end of season four. I didn't much like season five, and as flawed as it was, I did enjoy season six. This episode was better than every episode of the previous two seasons combined. While I never felt the series jumped the shark, this episode was a reminder of why I fell in love with this show in the first place. It's the show that makes you question right and wrong, good and evil, and your own ethics. Dexter is the audience's alter-ego in a way, we see everything unfold through his eyes and we're always in his head. But has Debra become the stand-in for us as well? She's asking these same questions now. We root for Dexter and love him, but should we? The show has truly confronted this dichotomy and I am anxious to see where it goes from here. At this time last year, I was already thinking that Gellar lived only in Travis Marshall's head, but now... I have no idea where the show is going, and I'm more than happy to enjoy the ride.

One thing that I am certain of is that Harry Morgan was a monster, this episode finally cemented it for me. The way he talked to Dexter in the flashbacks: "no one can ever love you if they knew who you really were." Who says that to a seven-year-old child? Maybe if he had just gotten Dexter some help, instead of training that child how to kill and who to kill, he would have had a normal life. Not to mention that Debra was ignored and discarded by Harry so he could teach this sick child how to efficiently kill and not get caught. We've seen Dexter surprise himself over the course of the show as he's realized that he CAN care for people and love people. Young Dexter was not beyond help and Harry turned him into a weapon. Harry was a sociopath.

Sunday night cannot come soon enough. This season has already gotten me hooked.

Chuck Norris Facts


Chuck Norris hates gays SO MUCH that he is against public schools celebrating the Day of Silence, an event held annually in support of LGBT students and LGBT rights.

Chuck Norris hates gays SO MUCH that he became one of the first members of show business to express support for the California Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage,

Chuck Norris hates gays SO MUCH that he supports the Boy Scouts’ policy of excluding gay participants. He even accuses Obama of trying to create a pro-gay Boy Scouts.