The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Well...



Paramount lays out its next two years of sequels and remakes - Yup, Bayformers 5 is already greenlit, as is another G.I. Joe, and a sequel to "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". But, yay, more Bayformers!

Look, when I go to the movies I don't want to have to think or understand. My day-to-day life of pedestrian job and web surfing is just so incredibly taxing that I can't handle any thought in my free time. I just wanna sit there and see crap blowing up and robots punching each other and guns and boobs and stuff. You can enjoy your coherent plot and developed characters and gay-ass stuff, and I'll be here enjoying the rapping robots in the next Transformers movie...

... So, how was my impression? I've had years to study, observe, and perfect it.

8 comments:

  1. I almost thought you were being serious.

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  2. "(Homer pretending to be a resident at a retirement home):

    Homer: Hey, what's Lucky hooked up to?
    Woman: It's a machine that breaths for him.
    Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker."

    I'm pretty sure Homer Simpson is the audience the bayformers movies are aimed at.

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  3. At least the old Transformers and G.I. Joe cartoons (which apparently share a universe, because Marissa Faireborn is the daughter of Flint and Lady Jaye, as implied a few times in the series and confirmed by the audio commentary on the 2006 DVD release of the 1986 Transformers: The Movie) tried to be somewhat educational, for the era and age group.

    I still can't believe that "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" is a thing.

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    Replies
    1. No offense but I can't help but laugh at that statement. The only thing the shows were doing were selling toys. Education, good stories and good characters were the last thing those shows had in mind.

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  4. Any chance you might review X-Men: Days of Future Past?

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    Replies
    1. Sure, when life gets less hectic.

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    2. You seen that one yet anyways?

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    3. I have, yes. Expect a review some time this week.

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