The Life & Times of an Auteur.

Commentary on Pop Culture, and maybe creating some of my own.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Have They Been Seen In Public Together?


I've recently come to a conclusion. Henry Cavill and Megan Fox are the same person. Let's run through a tally.


  • Both of them are terrible actors. No charisma. A complete inability to emote.
  • Both of them are being shoved at us by the two least talented directors in Hollywood. Henry Cavill by Zack Snyder in his horrible Superman movies; and Megan Fox by Michael Bay in those terrible Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films.
  • Both of them are, somehow, sex symbols. I personally think both of them look fake... not only like they're made of plastic, but if you look into their eyes... there's nothing there. It's not like let's say Hayley Atwell or Misha Collins who, if you look into their eyes you see substance... life. Cavill and Fox look like corpses.
  • Both of them are complete morons. Read just about any interview with them. It's one stupid thing after another coming out of their mouths. Whether Cavill is being racist or sexist by accident (okay, maybe it's not by accident) or Fox is comparing directors with Adolf Hitler. There's not a cell of gray matter between them.
At the end of the day, who do they remind me of?


25 comments:

  1. Oh good lord, imagine if they were to start dating or something? Then we'd be hearing things from both of their mouths at the same time and it'd become interchangeable!

    Sorry for not recognizing this immediately but who's the woman in the image at the end?

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    1. Kelly Bundy. The iconic bimbo.

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    2. Oh yeah, how did I forget her? XD

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  2. For the record, Megan Fox was cast as an uncreditted extra (a "hot dancing girl") in 2003's "BAD BOYS II" in a bit that was cut from the film. So Michael Bay's been oogling his living doll for a while.

    And hey, don't compare them to Kelly Bundy! Firstly, she's a fictional character, so her stupidity was intentional. Secondly, she had plenty of genuine emotion and occasionally some intelligent things to say (i.e. calling out the "double standard" about how "men are the real sluts"). Thirdly, despite being pretty, she didn't just land kushy gigs easily; she (and her brother) had to hustle just to get crappy gigs on commercials or exercise videos (funded by mobsters). And finally, she was a pool shark who could throw a mean hook and was occasionally more mechanically adept than a shoe salesman who was able to convert a shopping cart into a tricked out gadget laden weapon of death.

    "D IS FOR DADDY, I IS FOR DADDY, WE IS FOR DADDY, THE DEFENSE RESTS!"

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  3. "Fox is comparing directors with Adolf Hitler"

    Glass houses, Greg- you did once compare Todd MacFarlane to Hitler.

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    1. Really? I did. Well, I just did a quick google search and a search through s8's archives and so far I haven't found it.

      Are you sure I did?

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    2. Really, this is one thing I'd cut Megan Fox slack for. While the Hitler comment was no doubt dumb of her to say, I think the response it got was dumber than the comment itself. In the same breath she'd likened Bay to Napoleon and that got no attention. She followed it up with likening him to Hitler and then EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS!

      It was pretty clear that she was trying to put into words how tyrannical and overbearing she found Bay's director conduct to be and how working under him is like being suppressed by a dictator's rule. There's nothing about her comment that should've made anyone think that she's specifically saying that Bay is in every ways just like a guy who killed billions of Jews and committed war crimes while trying to dominate the world. She was just referring to the dictator aspect of Napoleon and Hitler, which is a very common likening to make when people speak of tyrannical people.

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    3. I have compared Donald Trump to Hitler. But considering his rhetoric and his fan club that involves David Duke, the Ku Klux Klan, Neo Nazis,and most of his rhetoric, I think the comparison is fair.

      I have called Todd McFarlane a lot of names, as well as a thief, but pretty sure I never called him Hitler. I don't recall it and I cannot find a record of it.

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    4. Yeah, if a guy's not a tyrant or a racist fascist, there's never any grounds to call him Hitler, let alone liken him to Hitler. Trump = a good Hitler parallel, while McFarlane = not. I don't know where Jurgan is pulling this from...

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    5. Jurgan is a good guy, I have known him for years. I am not trying to be confrontational, he probably genuinely believes that I once said it. Maybe I did, maybe he's misremebering. I think it's the latter.

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    6. Well, I spent over an hour searching through every googled reference to Hitler on s8 comment rooms, and I couldn't find what I was talking about. It's not like I'm desperate to prove you wrong, I just don't like to think my memory is playing tricks on me. I would have sworn in court this happened, but as far as I know there's no way to delete comments at s8. Best I can figure is I read one of your unkind thoughts on Todd McFarlane (which definitely exist), read that comment about Hitler somewhere else, and my mind somehow stitched them together. So, sorry for messing that up.

      I did find you saying you wanted Crash to win best picture, which is another thing I thought I remembered you saying but had to doubt myself when you recently said you were mad it beat Brokeback Mountain. Guess you just changed your mind on that one.

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    7. Whatever the case, I stand by my belief that while Megan Fox has said and done plenty of garbage things and I really wish she'd thought better of invoking Godwin's Law, I have to commend her for speaking her mind and telling people the harsh, cold truth about Michael Bay's nature and how it is working under his direction.

      It's a respect that doesn't last when I remember that she went on to work with him AGAIN for the TMNT movie. What the Hell, Megan?

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  4. Sorry, forgot I posted this. Anyway- dammit, I can't find it, but I remember this conversation distinctly. In s8, you were talking about McFarlane stealing intellectual property, someone said something good he did, and you responded with "Hitler painted pretty flowers." But now I can't find it anywhere. This is weirding me out. Anyway, it wasn't a literal, one-to-one comparison, just a hyperbolic argument that stuck out in my mind, but why can't I find the record? I know I was able to search for it before.

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  5. Okay, at this point it probably seems like I'm stalking you, Greg, by poring through all your old posts, but I found it!

    http://www.s8.org/gargoyles/comment/archive/index.php?archive_date=2006-02-27

    Yes! I'm not going insane!

    Anyway, I know you weren't literally saying "McFarlane is Hitler," but it still struck me as a rather dramatic place to take an argument.

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    1. Ah yes, I see it. And no, I didn't literally call him or compare him to anything.

      I was pretty much telling Battle Beast that you can't and shouldn't think someone is a good guy just because they put on a classy front. In that context, the line I used was fair, I think.

      Certainly not in the same ballpark as what Megan Fox said.

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  6. Cavill......from what I heard he was on the tudors and that's how he got his start. I haven't seen him in much (Man of UNCLE, Man of steel, stardust) but he's more talented then megan fox

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    1. I am aware of the Tudors.

      And no, Cavill is not more talented than her. Nor is she more talented than him. They are both awful.

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    2. He was a smarmy douche in stardust and when i looked it up on imdb years later I was like "holy shit THAT's Cavill?" He was literally very different from his portrayal in Superman.

      I may need to see more but he's got some potential in him

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    3. Oh will you shut up. Seriously? Dude... no.

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  7. I'm more sympathetic towards Megan Fox if only on the basis Michael Bay is a total creep to her. She has been the subject of underaged oogling given a scene in Bad Boys II and apparently, he made her wash his car in order to get into Transformers.

    She's no doubt better with other directors. The woman worked with Karyn Kusama who would later direct The Invitation. Kusama has more actual pedigree than Bay Aeon Flux aside (given that was the victim of studio meddling).

    But then again, you're likely to call me an idiot as usual even after I decided not to pay for Bay's films anymore (though I'll watch Pain & Gain again. Hey, a director I dislike would make a film I like once in a while). But again, I know your M.O. but you know what? You'll call me an idiot at the drop of a hat anyway like the fact that I prefer the new Ghostbusters over the original.

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    1. You know, I wasn't going to dignify this until I read your last two sentences.

      " But again, I know your M.O. but you know what? You'll call me an idiot at the drop of a hat anyway like the fact that I prefer the new Ghostbusters over the original."

      No, I won't call you an idiot for that. If anything, I've been combatting the sexism and bigotry directed at that movie for months on social media.

      I will call you a fucking idiot for just randomly throwing that in there without actually having any clue what you are talking about.

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    2. Letting a bit of my anger towards your tone I admit got a bit out of hand so it came out thinking it was a good idea at the time so I apologize.

      That being said, sometimes you can be condescending and rude towards others.

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    3. Movie-Brat: To be fair, you seem to want validation when it comes to your favorite movies and such rather than just enjoying them inspite of the quality or what others think (i.e. taking offense that he doesn't share your enjoyment on something or trying to justify it's lack of quality).

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  8. This is off-topic, Greg, but I must say, I respect you for having the strength of will to fight against the sexist part of the Ghostbusters backlash. I spent months fighting the good fight against the "Rey is a Mary Sue" people on social media, and it didn't seem to make much of a difference. The experience left me feeling disheartened at the misogyny in fandoms, and so I didn't have it in me to get involved in the whole Ghostbusters controversy.

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